duncan heights

July 2003

by V.E. on July 31st, 2003

filed under evewasframed, personal, quizzes/surveys, thoughts

July 29, 2003:
The Seven Deadly Sins Survey

ANGER

• Who did you last get angry with?: Annoyed with? Eh, {omitted for privacy}. But actually angry with? I don’t remember; it’s been soo long since I was really angry.
• What is your weapon of choice?: My mind and my sword. Knives are also good.
• Would you hit a member of the opposite sex?: Yes, and I have.
• How about of the same sex?: Yes, and I have.
• Who was the last person who got really angry at you?: Hm… Good question. {Omitted for privacy}, maybe?
• What is your pet peeve?: Which one? People talking when they shouldn’t be talking, or not standing up for himself or herself. And people touching my hair. NO! No touchy the hair.
• Do you keep grudges, or can you let them go easily?: Depends. It depends on how deep the wound goes. I can hold grudges forever, but as a general practice for my mental health, I don’t.
  

SLOTH

• What is one thing you’re supposed to do daily that you haven’t done in a long time?: Clean my room. Waah! Must… clean… room… No, too… much junk… Slowly dying…
• What is the latest you’ve ever woken up?: Um… My sleeping schedule is totally and completely random, so I couldn’t tell you. I just sleep when I’m tired and get up when I’m not.
• Name a person you’ve been meaning to contact, but haven’t: {Omitted for privacy}
• What is the last lame excuse you made?: “I’m a kitty. Kitty’s don’t do that.”
• Have you ever watched an infomercial all the way through?: Yes, but it was interesting.
• When was the last time you got a good workout in?: Actually, yesterday. So hah.
• How many times did you hit the snooze button on your alarm clock today?: None; I turned the alarm off completely because I woke up with a killer headache from it and wasn’t about to go through the pounding in my head it caused more than once.
  

GLUTTONY

• What is your overpriced yuppie beverage of choice?: What the hell is an “overpriced yuppie beverage”, anyway?
• Meat eaters: white meat or dark meat?: {Is not a meat-eater.}
• What is the greatest amount of alcohol you’ve had in one sitting/outing/event?: None. And I plan on keeping it that way.
• Have you ever used a professional diet company?: Um, no.
• Do you have an issue with your weight?: Um… not particularly.
• Do you prefer sweets, salty foods, or spicy foods?: Yes.
• Have you ever looked at a small house pet or child and thought, “LUNCH!”?: No, never. However, people my age? Certainly. Cannibalism; ah, Joy.
  

LUST

• How many people have you seen naked (not counting movies/family)?: Um, Completely naked? Two. Partially naked? More than I can count.
• How many people have seen YOU naked (not counting physicians/family)?: Um, that’s a good question. I don’t really know. At least three.
• Have you ever caught yourself staring at the chest/crotch of a member of your gender of choice during a normal conversation?: Not that I can recall, but I’m sure it’s happened.
• Have you “done it”?: Depends on what your definition of “it” is.
• What is your favourite body part on a person of your gender of choice?: . . . the Eyes.
• Have you ever been propositioned by a prostitute?: Yes.
• Have you ever been tested for an STD or pregnancy?: Yes.
  

GREED

• How many credit cards do you own?: None.
• What’s your guilty pleasure store?: Barnes and Nobles, Borders, or any other bookstore. Drooool… books…
• If you had $1 million, what would you do with it?: Pay off my college education, buy a private island, and live there in seclusion for the rest of my life writing, dancing, and playing the violin.
• Would you rather be rich, or famous?: Rich, hands down.
• Would you accept a boring job if it meant you would make megabucks?: Hmm, with some other conditions, yes.
• Have you ever stolen anything?: Yes.
• Five things that you would never give up?: My mind. My hands. My ears. My eyes. My Inspiration. Except when it comes to love. Then, this question is irrelevant because I’d give up anything.
  

PRIDE

• What one thing have you done that you’re most proud of?: Hiked across the Grand Canyon in three days.
• What one thing have you done that your parents are most proud of?: Earn good grades, got into a good college, and have been a good role model to my little brother and sister.
• What thing would you like to accomplish in your life?: Help change the world for the better. On a more specific and personal note: learn to play violin well, and learn to pilot an aircraft.
• Do you get annoyed by coming in second place?: Yes, sometimes, but only when I know I could’ve won.
• Have you ever entered a contest of skill, knowing you were of much higher skill than all the other competitors?: No.
• Have you ever cheated or lied on something to get a higher score?: No, never. I’m a thief, not a liar.
• What did you do today that you’re proud of?: Um… Kept my temper under control. Patience is a virtue, you know.
  

ENVY

• What item of a friend’s would you most want to have for your own?: Unknown. I like what I have now, thanks.
• Have you ever coveted “your neighbour’s wife”?: No.
• Who would you want to go on “Trading Spaces” with?: Shouldn’t that be “With whom would you want to go on ‘Trading Spaces’?” And what’s “Trading Spaces”, anyway?
• If you could be anyone else in the world for a day who would you be?: Mahatma Ghandi or William Shakespeare.
• Have you ever wished you had a physical feature different from your own?: Yes.
• What inborn trait do you see in others that you wish you had for yourself?: True happiness.
• Finally, what is your favourite deadly sin?: Anger.
  

July 26, 2003:
For the last time, people: I do not have a livejournal or a deadjournal or a ujournal or any other {fill in whatever you want here}journal. I have never had one, nor do I intend on ever getting one. This website and these Random*Thoughts are not some well paid for elaborate {live/dead/u/whatever}journal set-up. Oh no, my friends, I pay nothing (I’ll repeat that: I pay nothing) for this site save for the time I spend updating and writing source code for the pages. Nothing monetary goes into this site, and the way things are going, I doubt I will ever have a nice paid for site with a pretty domain name without all the pop-ups and banner ads. Sigh. I know, I know, very sad, but I just don’t have cash in large bills growing on trees like I wish I should. Also, in other news, I wrote a poem today on the aeroplane flight home from my last Gay-Straight Alliance Network Board meeting probably ever. I resigned my position as Youth Chairperson, and then we closed the position entirely. It was sad, and I said goodbye to my activist organisation. Ahem… sadness about GSA Network aside, here’s my (as yet untitled) poem, written today:

So there you have it. I have found my passion. And I cannot become what I want to become because of genetics, damn it. Oh, you say, what about contacts or laser eye surgery? Professional pilots must have 20/20 vision, or correctable by contacts to 20/20. I don’t have good enough eyes for that already. My contacts can correct up to 20/40, but that’s not good enough. As for laser eye surgery, it’s illegal for pilots to have had surgery if they want to actually pilot anything or anyone but themselves. Granted, I wouldn’t mind flying by myself, but even lessons are extremely expensive, not to mention the aeroplane itself. Damn, I need that money tree again, don’t I? Well, fuck it all to hell. I really should’ve been born an eagle, or some other flying bird. I’d have been much happier.

July 22, 2003:
Ah yes, there have been many interesting developments in my life recently. And now I’m exhausted so I’m going to rest. Good evening, loves.

July 15, 2003:
|| Favourite: ||

• 4 letter word: Free (as in “Freedom” and “The best things in life are free.”)
• Actor/actress: Brad Culver and Julia Stiles
• Board game: um, Mao, but it’s really a card game, not a board game
• Book: The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis
• Candy: I have no idea… Reese’s, maybe?
• Cartoon: Rainbow Brite and Strawberry Shortcake. Oh yea, getting in touch with my 80′s roots.
• Cereal: I don’t eat cereal.
• Chewing gum: um, Trident?
• Colour(s): black and violet.
• Day of week: Wednesday because it’s ruled by Mercury, Gemini, and Virgo.
• Flower: Edelweiss
• Jell-O flavour: Jell-O has flavours? That’s new to me.
• Jewellery: Hmm… my pentacle ring and class ring.
• Special skills/talents: HTML, writing, singing, patience. In no particular order.
• Summer/Winter: Winter because when you’re cold you can keep putting layers on to stay warm (provided you have such layers) but when you’re hot, eventually you have nothing left to take off.
• Trampolines or swimming pools: Both, totally.

|| Person who last: ||

• Called you: My mother.
• Slept in your bed: One of my cats, Mimi Sequi Artayu… Mimi for short.
• You went to the movies with: Bobby
• Yelled at you: Um, I don’t know, that was a while ago. My sister, maybe?
• Sent you an email: an Istniasa Coven member

|| Have you ever: ||

• Said “I love you” and meant it?: Yes. I would never say it and not mean it; it would dishonour the person to whom I said it.
• Kept a secret from everyone: Yes.
• Cried during a movie: Yes.
• Planned your week based on the TV Guide: No way. I don’t have cable, so why would I?
• Been on stage: Yes, in the musical Damn Yankees.
• Been to New York: Yep!! Whoo, go 02-03 Chamber Singers, baby!!
• Been to California: Yes; I live there.
• Hawaii: No.
• Mexico: Yes, once.
• China: No.
• Canada: No.
• Europe: No.
• Asia: No.
• South America: No, and I don’t really want to. Europe is more my style. However, if someone invited me to go with them to somewhere in South America, I wouldn’t turn them down if the cost was minimal to me.
• Australia: No.
• Wished you were the opposite sex: Yes.
• What time is it now?: 12:19 PM PDT
• Apples or bananas?: Apples please.
• Blue or red?: Neither. Mix them together and get violet.
• Wal-Mart or Target?: Um, who cares?
• Spring or Fall?: Fall.
• What are you going to do after you finish this?: Maybe start cleaning my room, but I doubt it.
• High school or college?: HS or College what? Which is my favourite? Which one am I in? What?
• Are you bored?: Rarely.
• Last noise you heard?: 1/3 True Feelings by Siam Shade
• Last smell you sniffed?: Um… my house?
• Last time you went out of state/province?: In late March.

|| Friendship/Love: ||

• Do you believe in love at first sight?: I don’t know. I haven’t given it enough thought to have a serious opinion.
• Do you want children one day & if so, how many?: No, I don’t think so. But if I do have some, I’d want two. Maybe I’d adopt. I don’t know.
• Most important thing to you in a friendship is: Love. One can love without understanding.

|| Other Info: ||

• Criminal record?: No, and I don’t plan on getting one, either.
• Do you speak any other languages?: Yes, a little German. Also Doubletalk and Pig Latin, if those count.
• Name some of your favourite things in your bedroom?: My Raggedy Anne doll and my books.
• Thing you dislike about yourself the most: Well, my face… Not that I don’t like it, but if I could change part of it, it would be smoother.
• Worst feeling in the world: Envy.
• Who you love: the Lord and Lady. My mother, father, brother, and sister. My friends. My education and knowledge. And my priorities always go in that order.

|| You: ||

• Nickname(s): Omitted for privacy.
• Initials: Omitted for privacy.
• How old do you look?: Um, 20? I don’t know. People always say I look older than I am.
• How old do you act?: My age.
• How old are you?: No way am I saying.
• Glasses/Contacts: Both.
• Braces: Yes, I had them for six years. So anyone that complains about them, just come and talk to me. It could always be worse, trust me.
• Do you have any pets?: Yes, I do.
• You get embarrassed: Um… Is this a question or a statement? Yes, I get embarrassed sometimes, but I’m only human.
• What makes you happy?: Reading, writing. Having those I love, love me back equally.
• What upsets you?: When I know I’m right and someone insists I’m wrong. Then, when they finally find out I WAS right, they turn tails and say THEY said what I said along, so I’m wrong either way! I hate that soooo much.

|| Finish the sentence: ||

• I Love to… read and write, especially when I’m inspired.
• I Miss… a time when I didn’t have as much responsibility.
• I Wish… parents would teach their children non-violence, and their children would listen.
• I Hope… for good things to happen in the future that will benefit the whole world.
• I’m Annoyed by… people who don’t know when to stop talking and can’t figure out that talking to fill the empty space isn’t always a good thing. Haven’t they ever heard of “comfortable silence”?
• I Am… a Poet.
• I Am Tired of… discrimination and prejudice.
• I Will Always be… against war and for gay and lesbian rights.

|| Lasts: ||

• Last movie you saw: The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen starring Sean Connery as Mr. Allen Quartermain.
• Last Phone Number You Called: Omitted for privacy.
• Last show you watched on TV: Um… I don’t know. I haven’t watched TV seriously since school ended in the middle of June.

|| Have you ever: ||

• Thought you were going to die: Yes, but obviously, I was mistaken.
• Wanted to Run away: No, not that I recall.
• Flunked a grade: No.
• Skipped a grade: No, but I almost did once.

July 7, 2003:
A friend of mine asked me to describe what my perfect person would be like. This was my response (edited as I thought of more; for the sake of my sanity, I used female pronouns, although I don’t generally prefer one gender over another): “The gender is no matter. She’d have soft hair long enough to run my hands through and she would love me just as well for all my darkness as my light. She would write me poetry occasionally or pick a flower and bring it home to me because she thought of me when she saw it on the road. She would love children and animals and never abuse anyone, but be firm when she says no — or yes. She would want to change the world for the better as passionately as I do, maybe not in my field, but an activist of sorts… She would know my moods by the way I walk down the hall and know when to push me and when not to and when to hold me and when not to. We’d argue about some things but finally agree to disagree and she would play the piano, violin, or cello well. She would be able to cook, but make me learn how so she wouldn’t have to do it all the time. She would have as many quirks as I do and accept my loves without necessarily also loving them herself. She would love to read, be intelligent and romantic, and be against violence in general, including war. Her kiss would be sweet, her mystery alluring, and she would become more beautiful with the passing of time. And she would love me so deeply that it hurts, and I her.”

And then I said, “I long for my perfect person desperately.” I don’t want to be alone anymore. I’m tired of standing by myself.

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