duncan heights

I never found my keys and so lost three important pieces of my regular wear, none of which included the keys or fob.

1. my Kappa key chain given to me by my big sister, Shahed, upon sisterization.
2. my Sailor Jupiter key hook thingy, my favourite Sailor Scout from the first anime I ever watched and also the scout with whom I share a name (Makoto).
3. my Anime Expo 2002 lanyard, the first year I ever attended any convention (much less an ANIME convention).

I reported my keys lost and have received a new set, so I can get into North Ben without other people’s help and can once again lock my door without fear of not being able to get in again later.

ALSO: I have thoughts/reflections on Diplocon, but haven’t been sitting at a computer long enough to type them all out; I will do that soon. And, I am still feeling sickly, but not as much as a couple of days ago. And, I watched part of the original Battlestar Galactica… It’s amusing in short bursts and annoying and sexist after watching it for too long.

Tortured Tienanmen dissident freed after 16 years

Wow. I feel sick after reading that.

Your Vibe Is Somewhat Sexy

On a good day, you’re the sexiest woman in the world But on a bad day, you can’t help but feel a little average Try to remember the times you’ve felt the sexiest… And keep that attitude even on the worst of days

How Sexy Is Your Vibe?

Your Ideal Marriage Proposal Is

Mutual, after a great conversation about your future and feelings.

What’s Your Ideal Marriage Proposal?

You Belong in London

A little old fashioned, and a little modern. A little traditional, and a little bit punk rock. A unique woman like you needs a city that offers everything. No wonder you and London will get along so well.

What City Do You Belong In?

You Should Be With a Water Sign!

Your best match is a Cancer, Scorpio, or PiscesWhy? You crave intimacy and connection in your relationship And while most guys can’t open up enough for you, a Water Sign can Not that you’re whole relationship will be soul gazing A Water Sign matches your goofy sense of humor – and desire to help others.

What Sign Should You Date?

You Are a Cappuccino

You’re fun, outgoing, and you love to try anything new. However, you tend to have strong opinions on what you like. You are a total girly girly at heart – and prefer your coffee with good conversation. You’re the type that seems complex to outsiders, but in reality, you are easy to please

What Kind of Coffee Are You?

Your Makeup Look Is

Dramatic Eyes with Naked Lips You rock an edgy, modern look with feminine grace

What’s Your Signature Makeup Look?

Shit. I lost my keys and fob. Shit. Shitshitshitshit.

Plus, I missed my meetings with Terri and Panhel ’cause I’ve been flipping out. ShitshitSHIT.

Something very cool has been happening in my relationship with Bennett recently. Put simply, he’s opening up. I no longer feel like I don’t know him at all and we’ve grown closer as a couple in the past month or so. I still worry that he’s just putting up with me out of inertia and lethargy, but something happened today to contradict those thoughts. He said, “You’re awesome” and randomly reached over and kissed me. And it wasn’t just a fluke thing. He repeated that about 10 or 12 times over the course of three and a half hours this evening.

I’ve learned not to deny a compliment vocally, so I just said “thank you” the first few times. But after a while, when he kept saying “You’re awesome” (and kissing me, which I didn’t mind), I asked him, “Well, it’s nice that you say that, but you know I don’t believe you.” He replied with, “You frakking put up with all the shit I put you through… Damn, woman, you washed my FEET* for Christsakes.” And here I was thinking that I was the one putting HIM through a bunch of shit. Nice to know the feeling was/is mutual.

I also learned (or rather, I knew already, but it just recently sunk in) that he has veeeeery low self-esteem. I have higher self-esteem, and that’s saying a LOT. So, I’ve been more careful about teasing and berating him and kicked the compliments up a notch. I think it’s helping a little, but heaven knows that it took ME over a year, a visit to the psych ward, quite a bit of blood loss, and sacrifices in my education before I began to believe that I was/am actually worth it. I have my work cut out for me, but I think I’m up to the challenge. I want him to succeed and be happy, and as long as he manages to make ME happy (it’s gotta be a two-way street, after all), I’m going to stick by him.

*Note: Yes, I actually did wash his feet the other day, but let me explain. He was having a really shitty day and my mother once showed/taught/told me that when someone’s feeling bad, wash their feet for them and it will do three things. 1) they will feel much cleaner all over; 2) it’s an unconscious connection (at least in Western cultures) to Jesus’ idea of “washing away your sins”; and 3) the person knows you love them because you washed their dirty, stinky feet. Also, on a more personal note, it makes me happy to cause other people joy, so I didn’t mind washing his feet at all. The (positive) change in his demeanor was completely worth it.