Day Two hundred thirteen

by V.E. on October 17th, 2006

filed under 5reasons

  1. Trip to Harrisburg.
  2. Being confident enough in myself to take the silly trip alone.
  3. Remembering to take a jacket with me to stay warm.
  4. Having enough money for an umbrella once I got there.
  5. Not being angry or worried about the test… or the rain.

Posted in 5reasons | Leave a Comment

The power of … prayer?

by V.E. on October 17th, 2006

filed under ladyamedeus, spirituality, thoughts

I haven’t prayed in a long time. I miss it. Maybe not even ’cause I believe that there’s someone(s) watching over me and listening, but because I believe there is. It’s interesting how the oddest things will make me wish I had a deeper relationship with the gods. I think part of it is because I never really stopped thinking about the gods as God… if you know what I mean. I guess there is a “God the Father” but it never really occurred to me that “He” wasn’t also “God the Mother” before I was admonished for talking about “Her” (rather than “Him”). True, most Christian denominations acknowledge that God has “motherly” and “fatherly” qualities, but I think that’s mostly just lip-service to the feminists (and whomever else) who would leave if they didn’t have SOME version of the Feminine Divine in their rituals and whatnot… Yes, I’m confused by this whole her/him thing, and no doubt people with polytheistic cultures were/are too, which is why they’re polytheistic; it’s easier to recognize the multiple aspects of God simultaneously by creating more than one god who embodies only one or two parts of the Whole.

I’m having a hard time reconciling my belief in God with my strong belief in God As Woman. I think that it would be really hard for me to believe in any gods if I didn’t think that they (or, some part of him/her) was female, since I am female. I can’t relate to something I’m not, at least not easily, and I think that one’s base connection with God should be easy–and then the relationship and complexities can grow from there. Part of the reason I have trouble with both the Witch culture and the Christian culture is because I have taken aspects of my belief system from each and it’s hard to explain my belief of some parts of one culture to people following the main paths of the other. I feel alone. I know I’m not alone, per’se, but even Bennett doesn’t look too highly on my commitment to God. Most of my Christian friends think that I don’t have a strong enough relationship with (their) God, and my Wiccan friends wonder why I don’t Call Down the Moon and praise the Lady for all that she’s given us. I DO do those things, but I can’t really explain it to either group since many Christians would consider it heretical and many Wiccans would consider it old-fashioned.

I’m not even sure where I’m going with this. More later, maybe.

Posted in ladyamedeus, spirituality, thoughts | 2 Comments

|