After a bit of play, Sir got up to wash his hands and told me that I could get dressed.
Except I just couldn’t quite peel myself up off the floor. I laid there curled up, my heart pounding, my head mushy.
When Sir has asked that I get up before, I have done it, my heart and head flying. He’d usually have to leave soon after, so I’ve had to comedown myself. When I’ve been in that state, it’s hard for me to tell him in that moment that I need a little time with him to just calm down and get my head back.
A little while ago, a day after we played while my head wasn’t foggy, I told him about this need. And he listened.
So this time, he sat with me on the floor, his hand a reassurance on my body. He had me get up and told me to lay down on the bed, where he sat next to me and held my hand. I told him that I felt okay after a little while like that, but he had me put some clothes on and go outside for a cigarette.
“I love watching you come down from subspace.”
“Why? I imagine it’s a bit boring for you.”
“Not at all. It’s a power thing.”
The next day he asked me to try to explain what it’s like.
“I guess it’s like, my mindset changes into simply following what you ask,there’s nothing else. It takes a little bit to come out of that, where my head has to actually think.”