If you’ve been following my resolution for this year, you already know that I’ve failed thus far. I want to stop that… stop failing, that is. I fear I’ve been battling an addiction to shopping and stealing for longer than I’d like to admit. I discovered this while watching a short clip advertising heartsupport. At the beginning, a man says,
Well, if there wasn’t sexual addiction, how is it that I am 42 and I’ve been dealing with something that I started when I was 10. That’s an addiction.
and I thought to myself, Yeah, that’s me. Not the sexual part, but yes; an addiction is a long-term struggle against something that the addicted person dislikes but feels compelled to do. For heroin addicts, that means that the person doesn’t want to take heroin but something in his/her brain says “Take it” over and over and over, like a broken record. For me, I think it’s shopping. And, to a somewhat lesser extent, stealing.
According to Merriam-Webster, to be addicted to something is to “to devote or surrender (oneself) to something habitually or obsessively”—most medical dictionaries claim that addiction occurs only with chemical substances, but I think that’s a bit narrow. I’m sure I’ve said this before, but for me it’s not about reading the books or wearing those boots, it’s just about having them—just in case I ever did want to read/wear them.
I just realized I’m a hoarder.
Shit. More later when I’ve wrapped my head around this. This is three (well, two and a half) problems in one:  shopping and [1/2] stealing, and  hoarding. I’m going to need a bigger (metaphorical) box.