duncan heights

New review over at FeministReview. Check it out and comment!

Some of you may know that I have, in the past, seriously considered training to be an emergency medical technician (EMT) but have never gotten far because I pursue other avenues before health care. Anyway, I’m more interested in mental health than physical health, and I have some friends who are EMTs who have told me stories about their work places and schedules that make becoming an EMT less appealing.

I learned about the National Paramedic Institute, where online EMT training courses and other types of courses are offered, through a friend who was trying to find continuing education classes online. She doesn’t have a lot of time to physically sit in class, so online learning tends to be more practical. The National Paramedic Institute website is user-friendly and includes a feature called Medic Monthly that boasts “physician-directed, cutting-edge online EMS education for First Responders, EMTs, and Paramedics.” You can find their class offerings at paramedicinstitute.com or emsjane.com.

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I was thinking about Why I’m ashamed and was wondering how many of the Ten Commandments I’ve actually broken. Here’s the list, with comments.

01 You shall have no other gods before Me.
Um… Seeing as God is apparently a jealous God and I don’t think that’s fair since we’re not supposed to be jealous/envious (see the tenth commandment below), I think sharing is fine. So, multiple gods (that is, sharing the deity) is fine. I’m not as bad as some people, and I tend to believe in only one God because that makes things simpler, but I’ve prayed to variations of God in the past, so I’m not sure how this plays out.

02 You shall not make for yourself an idol.
I’m sure I do this every time I must have that new [insert awesome new thing here]. Again, I’m not as bad as some people, but I have to say I have done this in the recent past.

03 You shall not take the Lord’s name in vain.
HAHAHA! Definitely done this one. Moving on.

04 Remember the Sabbath and keep it holy.
If people could just decide once and for all which day the Sabbath is actually supposed to be, I might be inclined to take this commandment more seriously. But, I think this is a people problem, not a God problem, and I think that taking a day off from work for rest is generally a good thing, though I’m not so stuck up that I think we should all read the Bible from morning to night that day.

05 Honor your father and mother.
I think if I thought about stealing or lying as dishonoring to my parents, I’d be less likely to do those things. But I don’t really, so I keep doing them, even though I know if I get caught they could get into trouble, too. I don’t think I actively not do this one, but I also don’t think I really do it very well, either.

06 You shall not murder.
This is the only commandment I can say with certainty that I’ve never done. Unless I read the Catholic version, which says “You shall not kill” and then I’ve done that one, too. Damnit. Does stepping on ants count? Or eating bacon when I was like in 4th grade?

07 You shall not commit adultery.
Hmm. I haven’t done this to my knowledge. Is it still adultery if the other person isn’t married but is in a serious, committed relationship?

08 You shall not steal.
I do this. It’s an obsession. I’m trying to stop, but it’s compulsive.

09 You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.
Also known as, “Do not lie.” Which I have. A lot. Just read my thesis.

10 You shall not covet your neighbor’s house or wife.
Or covet his other stuff, either, I assume. I don’t think I’ve ever coveted someone else’s house or wife, but I have probably lesser things. I’m thinking that “Depends on your definition of covet” isn’t exactly the right response here.

The Ten Commandments seem simple enough, especially 6, 7, and 8 since they’re not in flowery language or anything. But I see a lot of gray in them, and I wonder if that means I’m just not a good Christian or something. I mean, one word can change the meaning of the sentence, like in #6. All murder is killing, but not all killing is murder. So which is it? And if it really is “You shall not kill,” how is it okay to eat meat or fish? Somebody has to kill those things before we eat them. Or do animals not count? Do these commandments only apply to people? Well, what about someone like Hitler, who doesn’t think an entire section of people are people? Is it okay to kill someone who you know is less human than you? How do you even know that for sure?

The only one I can see without any ambiguity is “You shall not steal” and I know I’ve done that one. My track record is pretty sad.

I recommend Welcome to Chris World. It’s written by a friend from high school and, if I do say so myself, it’s pretty good. Plus, it’s also funny sometimes, which is awesome.

[This is the first draft of the eleventh part of my Master's thesis/book, Confession.
Comments and questions are always appreciated.]

Everyone has regrets, things they’re ashamed of, things they don’t want to tell anyone. These are those things.

I lie.

Or I used to. Recently, since I’ve been out of college, the allure has worn of completely. It’s not fun anymore, and I’m tired. When we first started dating, I told Bennett I was abused as a child. I wasn’t, but I didn’t know how else to explain my eccentricities. I told my friends similar stories in high school because I wanted to feel something. I wanted to be paid attention to. Why else lie about something so horrible? It cheapens true accounts and, if they ever find out, it ruins my credibility with my friends.

I steal.

Though there are rules. I don’t steal from friends or family, and I don’t take from independent businesses. WalMart, Borders, Safeway, Sears, Hot Topic, though, are all fair game. Chain businesses are up for grabs. I have never been caught. I would rather just buy what I take, but sometimes (most of the time) I cannot afford it.

I have plagiarized.

Which is essentially stealing intellectual property. In college, I stole a poem, “shoe-lace envy”,* word-for-word from the then-girlfriend of one of my co-activists. I loved the poem so much, and I wished I had written it. The real author lived in Northern California and I was attending school on the East Coast. I didn’t think she would find out, so I submitted it as my own to the on-campus literary and arts magazine, Prolog, and it was accepted. I thought nothing of it and even used the poem in one of my school portfolios before I received an angry email from the real poet ordering me to cease and desist. Although I never responded to her letter, I did stop using her beautiful poem as my own. To Ms. Freytag: I am so sorry I stole from you. I swear it has never happened before or since.

* Freytag, Ellen. “shoe-lace envy,” Masque Magazine, volume 4, issue 2 (spring 2001); p. 3. [http://www.stanford.edu/group/masque/]

I like kinky sex.

But it’s complicated. I probably shouldn’t get too detailed, but suffice to say I have a healthy interest in sex not of your mother’s choosing. Unless, maybe, you’re mother is Jenna Jameson. That doesn’t mean, though, that I’m an easy lay.

I’m chronically late.

To everything. I’ve been late to class, church, appointments, interviews; you name it, I’ve been late to it. I’ll probably be late to Christ’s second coming, even if I’m already dead.

I am classist.

I would like to think I’m “racially colorblind” but I’m not. In high school, I was exposed to very few people who were different from me in a few significant ways. That is, I lived in an area where all the kids wanted for very little, and some were even quite affluent. When I moved to New York City after college, I was introduced to large groups of people who were in significantly different income brackets, and that was odd at first. I thought I could handle it. Then, I was annoyed. I wasn’t annoyed at black people, or Puerto Ricans, or Chinese people specifically. I was annoyed at people who acted poor. Not the people who were poor but held themselves with poise and dignity, just the people who seemed to expect me to feel sorry for them because of their income status. My disgust, what I had feared was based on skin color, was actually based on action. What I really hate is “white trash” and “ghetto fabulous” behavior, not matter the person or income bracket. And, I think, that makes me classist.

My dad works for NASA. (I know, cool, right?) Well, he’s a nerd sometimes (hard not to be when you work there, I guess) and when I was a kid, it was no different. The space station would fly overhead or Mars would (finally!) be visible with the naked eye or something, and he’d shuffle my whole family out to see the wonders of space. For a while it was really irritating (didn’t he know I had better things to do?) but now that I no longer live at home, I kind of miss it. He uses this little red—powerful—telescope that’s so cute but so expensive. It’s good for looking at the Moon when you actually want to see craters and stuff.

I’ve been thinking about getting a less expensive telescope or something for myself in semi-tribute to my dad (for passing on his love of the sky, whether I’ll admit it to him or not ^_^) from OpticsPlanet.com, which bills itself as “the web’s best destination for all hobby related products.” They have hunting gear (rifle scopes, for example), telescopes, sunglasses, thermal imaging stuff, and a lot more. One of the reasons I’d pick OpticsPlanet over other sellers is because they sponsor the Astronomical League, and that’s cool. Who’s the nerd now? LOL.

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