This, on the other hand, makes me grin
by V.E. on November 6th, 2008
filed under entertainment, favorite, lgbt, politics
At least SOME people are thinking clearly.
How did I become so bitter and resentful in less than 48 hours?
by V.E. on November 6th, 2008
filed under lgbt, personal, politics, writing
That’s a good question. It’s all a matter of perspective. Basically, I want to bring them all down to my level. “Them all” being a couple of ex-boyfriends and about 52% of voting Californians. “My level” being something painful, angry, and scornful. On Tuesday at this time, I was hopeful for America. One might even say I was happy (not a word I associate with myself very often, to be sure). Since this morning, I’ve been irritated, disinterested, and all-around grouchy.
If you didn’t already know… on Tuesday, the United States elected its first African-American president, Barack Obama; no Bradley effect anywhere to be seen. I was pleased, to put it mildly. Then, a few things happened that soured the mood.
First, I finished the second draft of my manuscript. At first glance, that seems to be a good thing (and it is!), so let me explain why it ruined the mood. My manuscript centers on the time I spent with Bennett, an ex-boyfriend, during college and the year after. It’s about obsession (with him) and how I was able to get over it. Unfortunately, to finish the second draft, I had to write about things which are still really close to the heart and still sting when I think about them. My entire interaction with Bennett has been tainted since I found out in March 2007 that he cheated on me—and he’s still dating the woman with whom he cheated. It doesn’t help that she’s a raging maniac (especially when it comes to me), either. So, I had to dig up all these not-so-awesome memories to finish the draft, and I did it, but it left me feeling angry. Bennett, in many ways, treated me terribly, and I haven’t been able to truly forgive him yet. Granted, I’m no piece of cake to deal with, but that doesn’t excuse his behavior toward me.
Second, California citizens (well, roughly 52% of ‘em) voted to ban gay marriage in the state. Arizona and Florida had similar propositions on the ballots, which also passed. However, Cali’s marriage ban is the only one in which the election took rights away from already married couples. It’s one thing to ban something that hasn’t happened, like Arizona and Florida did, but Californians have been able to marry their partners (either sex!) since June 16, 2008. [On May 16, 2008, California justices decided that marriage should be between two parties, regardless of the respective gender of the partners, and that a ban on gay marriage was unconstitutional (pdf file). Marriages legally began one month later.] That means that this election unmarried thousands of couples.
Third, I stupidly responded to Nathan’s note on Facebook (Nathan is another ex-boyfriend), which I copy and paste here in its entirety for your reading pleasure. (All misspellings and grammatical errors are the author’s.)
Dangerous times.
Well, it seems we went and voted ourselves a one-party government again. And one that favors massive entitlement and spending programs. For everyone celebrating, here’s where we stand as a country:
-Our national government is over $10 Trillion in debt.
-Our social security and welfare programs are running out of money, and will be bankrupt within our lifetimes (and before most of us start to get returns).
-Our executive branch has become increasingly powerful to the point of almost breaking our system of checks and balances.These are the pressing issues that actually threaten our country. Each time we elect someone, on the right or the left, we seem to elect the person who says they’ll do the most for us. In the process we give up a little bit more of our power and rights as the people. We vote on emotion, media saturation, and peer pressure. Rarely it seems that rationality fits in there. Now I’m not talking about everyone out there, but think about it, and think about most people’s motivations for voting. How many people voted for McCain soley on the abortion issue? How many voted for Obama simply because they disliked Bush? How many people out there actually sat down, took a look at the state of the nation, analyzed each of the candidates voting records, statements, and proposals, and made an educated, rational vote? You might have, but think of the millions that don’t. Think about how they sway elections.
And think about the massive spending programs Obama is proposing. The increase in governemnt intervention in our lives. The increase in governmental power. Sure, Obama might use that power respsonibly. But what about every president for the next 50 years? The next 100? What about the next Bush or Nixon?
Time to roll my sleeves up and get to work I guess. This finally pushed me over the edge fully into the Libertarian movement. Funny I thought Obama was supposed to unify the country…
Stay tuned I guess.
…I wrote, “Would you be writing this crock if McCain had won?” He replied with, “Probably not voicing it so much, but yes, these are the issues’ I’ve been worried about for years…” and then launched into two more paragraphs defending himself. Since I was already not feeling so great over the first two things, I was in no mood to play, so I wrote, “You’re completely full of shit.” Similar to the first reason, I was reminded during this interaction of some not-so-great times I spent with Nathan and it left a bitter taste in my mouth all over again.
So now you know how I became so bitter and resentful in less than 48 hours. (And knowing is half the battle.)
