Monthly Archives: March 2009


Yeah, so I haven’t actually posted a real entry on this thing in a while. So this is like a newsfeed, except not.

I changed my hairstyle. I didn’t have it cut or anything, but I was talking to my sister (and mother) via iChat video one evening a while back and watched her finish braiding her hair. It was an subconscious thing on her part; she didn’t even realize anyone was watching, since our mother was talking at the time. She was the most beautiful in that moment than I’ve seen anyone in a long time. That sounds stupid when I write about it now, but at that moment, it was awesome. My sister, with her hair almost braided like that, will be stuck in my mind for a long time coming. Shortly after, I started braiding my hair… I think it’s an effort to capture some of her natural perfection in my own life if I can.

I gained a new “friend”… Name’s Artie, and I don’t really like him. He’s 24 (born December 23, in case that matters to anyone), barely managed a GED, and he can’t read. He reminds me of Steven A., and not in a good way. I was having internet troubles (I usually “borrow” wifi from a place down the street) and went down to Starbucks on 86th St. to do some real work. He saw me through the window and—even though I was wearing headphones and a frown—knocked on the glass to get my attention. I don’t know why, but I looked up and smiled at him (it’s not like me to be an ass to people unnecessarily, at least not purposefully) and he apparently took that as an invitation. Since then, we’ve watched a few movies together (Drumline and Memento were my choices; a boot-legged copy of Role Model was his), eaten Chinese and/or sushi multiple times, and played various card games. He touches me too much and I have to correct him when he says things like “honey” and “baby” (insert *puke* here) but he’s not really a bad guy, per se. He’s just… really, really irritating. And racist. And homophobic. And I am totally *not* interested. In any way, shape, or form. Oh, and he just doesn’t seem to get that I hate talking on the phone.

Galactica ended; I cried.

I started playing Urban Dead and NationStates. Both decent games, though their respective paces are a bit slow for my taste. I have one character in Urban Dead, Eve Amedeus (yes, I know no one is surprised by my character name choice), so if you decide to start playing, look me up. ^_^ In NationStates, I have two nations, Helo Cadence and Amedeusburg. The former is the kind of nation I would actually try to rule; the latter is an experiment in how bad a nation can get if I make decisions that are the *opposite* of what I believe. Similarly, I caved and got a Twitter account, so if you’re inclined, you can look me up under “veduncan” or “eveamedeus” and follow me. If I know you, let me know who you are and I’ll follow you, too!

I still have no work. I’ve been applying places, but more people are laying off than hiring these days, at least in my area, so I either have to (1) change my approach, (2) change my area of expertise, or (3) change my physical proximity to paying work (that is, I’ll have to move). I don’t know HOW to change my approach, really. I’m doing what I’m supposed to be doing, as far as anyone can tell. Changing my area of expertise is an option, I guess, but that takes money for training. As for moving… I don’t want to. I love New York City desperately, and I don’t want to leave. It’s expensive, but that tends to be my style no matter the topic. Also, I wouldn’t know where to go; if I can’t find work here, in the City that Never Sleeps, where will I? I don’t want any drama; I just want a job.

I earned a Master of Arts in creative writing in January and was talked into taking another year of school for a Master of Fine Arts (the terminal degree in my field because for some reason writers don’t deserve doctorates… I don’t really know *why* it’s like that, but it is… don’t even get me started). This semester I have to (1) write the second draft of my manuscript, (2) read 10-12 books and write ten-twelve page book reports on each one, and (3) write a 15-20 page academic paper about some aspect of writing. I have… done very little in fulfilling any of those goals. I have until late May, after which—if nothing changes—I will have truly failed (academically) for the first time in my life. I don’t want that to happen. I still have time, but not a lot of it, and not a lot of patience to do something I don’t want to do… which is pretty much all of #2 and, to a lesser degree, #3.

I feel like I’m on the edge of something… great. That is, something vast and possibly magnificent and yet I have no idea what I’m about to stumble into and no way of knowing whether or not I’ll be able to survive it. For, though the darkness of outer space is grand, it is not friendly. It’s… almost there, like I could reach out and touch it, except I don’t know which way to lean before my fingers catch it.

A Football Thing

Also, not all funny… though most are:
Evolution of Dance
Weiß Kreuz: Glühen opening credits (trans: “white cross: glowing”, known in English as Knight Hunters: Eternity)
The Boxxy Story, best if read chronologically
We the People Stimulus Package I don’t agree with a lot of what he says, but at least he’s thinking.
Modern Gangs of New York accurate as of 2007
Mikkabouzu: Three Days Monk… something I definitely am in most my endeavors
Best of Craigslist: Why I’m not the perfect girl for you
Highland Heartbeat I want their CD, dammit!
Working for the Mouse: careful what you wish upon a star for…
HackThisSite: training the hacker underground
Oma vs. Mercedes I saw this a while back and it never fails to crack me up