Daily Archives: Friday, 23 April 2010

Black Dating

Honestly, I’ve never dated a black person. I’m not opposed to it, but I’ve almost never been in a situation with a person of color that presented itself as “I like you; you like me; maybe we can work something out” in regards to dating. I don’t know if that’s because I’ve never looked for that kind of situation or I just misread the signals or what, but I’ve never dated a black person.

Some part of me thinks it’s a culture thing, but I’ve never really sat down to think about what “black culture” is, either. Or what my culture is in comparison to other cultures, for that matter. If black dating is anything like the world of “white dating” (if there is such a thing), I know it’s gotta be tough… Because any kind of dating is tough. It’s like you’re interviewing for a job but worse because, if you’re rejected, it’s not just your resume that’s being rejected—it really is you.

I started thinking about it seriously, though, and I started to wonder: why is it “black dating” and not just “dating”? I think it’s because the default (at least in the U.S.) is white (cisgendered heterosexual male), so anything that’s not white has to be defined to make it clear. Interesting. Food for thought, I guess.

Dating while Christian

Tomorrow, I’m hosting a wedding shower for a childhood friend of mine. Actually, we haven’t spoken in a long time, but she’s getting married and it was my shower or nothing, so we’ve reconnected. It’s actually a lot more complicated than that, but the complications aren’t the point of this post.

She works for a group that advances the Christian faith on college campuses in the United States, so she pretty much wears her faith on her sleeve. Her upcoming wedding got me thinking: what’s it like, facing the dating world as a Christian? Are there any christian dating services that might help out a faithful believer? I was raised as a Protestant Christian, but I’ve pretty much abandoned its tenants, so I really am interested. I remember the saying, “A woman’s heart must be so lost in God that a man must seek Him to find her.” And, at the core of it, I think that’s true for Christians, though I think it should go both ways.

I hope to be able to talk to my friend more about this tomorrow. What do you think? Seriously, I want to start a discussion about this.