“Too Blessed to Be Stressed”
by V.E. on August 19th, 2011
filed under health, recap/review
Too Blessed to Be Stressed:
Inspiration for Climbing Out of
Life’s Stress-Pool
By Debora M. Coty
Barbour Books
01 August 2011
I think it’s a little ironic that I decided to review Too Blessed to Be Stressed because I was given a due date right smack in the middle of the most stressful week I’ve had all summer, probably all year so far. It was so stressful, in fact, that I had to request a due date extension (which was, thankfully, granted). So, with all that said, how did this book hold up against my stress-induced mindset?
Well, not well. Not because it’s bad advice, but because it kind of felt like the advice given wasn’t useful in my life, personally. Simply put, Debora Coty’s tales of “how to deal with life without freaking out” (my words, not hers) weren’t really meant for me. Her goal is to:
help you rejuvenate your desperate heart by discovering simple-to-implement, practical ways to achieve the peace we all crave.
It’s a laudable goal, as much of the advice given is sound, but I don’t really think that it’s new guidance; it’s just been repackaged in Christian terms and with a girly cover, complete with a flower on the front. (Can you tell I’m not impressed with all the pink and baby blue? It’s not like my ovaries are like, “OMG, those are baby colors!” or something. Ugh.)
The author’s comfort level is self-depreciating humor—she writes what she knows, and sometimes the stories are ridiculous and funny. But, they’re tales for women in “traditional” romantic relationships: married to a man and who have 2.5 kids. Too Blessed to Be Stressed is for the supermom, not someone like me who’s unmarried, has no children, and doesn’t ever plan on a “traditional” romance, changing my surname, and so on.
At the beginning, there’s a checklist of statements that the reader checks off as true or false. (I’m under the impression that said checklist is to decide whether or not this book is for you, but the only three results you can get are: “Yellow Alert! You are at risk of becoming stressed out”, “Orange Alert! Look out, girlfriend, you’re at toxic stress levels”, and “Red Alert!!! You are a bonified Stress Mess and need immediate help!” so I’m not sure how helpful the checklist actually is.) Some of the statements have built in assumptions about mothers, women, and girls. Case in point: “I used to enjoy cooking, but now it’s only a necessary chore.” From my perspective, is this true or false? Well, I have never liked cooking in the first place, so the first part (before the comma) is false. However, because I have never liked cooking, it has always been a “necessary chore”, which makes that part most definitely true. We’re not off to a good start, here, obviously.
I had similar issues with much of Coty’s advice—some of it is good advice and common sense for anyone, not just women, and the rest of it is steeped in gender essentialism (something that most people don’t even think about because it’s ingrained basically from birth).
Here’s the super quicky version without all the strange “all women are stay-at-home moms” humor: learn to manage your time, develop a sense of humor in your own life, cultivate positive relationships, and finally, she says, focus on your faith. (“Faith”, of course, being only Christian faith, Bible verses and all.) There are many great “de-stress your life” books out there, but unfortunately, I don’t think this one really measures up. (If someone else read it and liked it, though, I’d be happy to hear your perspective, so please comment below.)
DISCLAIMER: I received Too Blessed to Be Stressed free from LitFuse Publicity in return for a review of the book. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. Read other reviews and learn more about the book on the blog tour’s main page.
In case you ever wondered
by V.E. on August 7th, 2011
filed under fyi, health, personal
Dear children,
This is what happens when you aim for someone’s head and hit a fucking doorjamb. I do not recommend it, and many of the customers at work now think I’m a miscreant. I guess I am, sometimes.
Photo taken a couple days after it went down.
It took me two swings to figure out the guy’s moves, and I didn’t miss after that. So, two good solid punches… one with each fist… right into a doorjamb… this it what that looks like.
I’m just a doll, aren’t I?
The (off duty) EMT who looked my hands over afterward told me it was a miracle I hadn’t broken them. My knuckles sting every time I move my fingers or wash my hands and everything up to my shoulders is sore as hell.
Don’t try this at home,
V.E.
Change in perception?
by V.E. on July 15th, 2011
filed under health, personal, words, wtf
When I was a junior in high school I took a psychology class in which we all took some version of the Myers-Briggs Test. I was scored as INTJ. That is: Introverted, Intuitive, Thinking, and Judging. The Extrovert/Introvert section was so unsure that I had to answer extra questions about it so that it could score me properly.
I just took a similar test, ten years later, and was awarded with ISFP, or: Introverted, Sensitive, Feeling, Perceiving. (ISFJ came in a close second, and there was no question about Extroversion versus Introversion this time.) Here’s what I was told:
If your personality type is ISFP then you have some deeply-held values that, even though your life may be somewhat unstructured, direct the things that you do and say. You probably take a caring and sensitive approach to others, more so than may be apparent to others because you showing your feelings in acts of kindness rather than in direct statements. You probably have a strong sense of the type of lifestyle you enjoy, which you want to maintain.
Here’s how INTJ (my former score) compares, from the same website:
If your personality type is INTJ then you have a strong, private sense of strategic vision, both for the future and how that future will can be achieved. Your vision, or sense of knowing, may be difficult to articulate, but even if wasn’t others might find it difficult to accept (e.g.: as impractical or unrealistic). Pursuing your vision might be a lonely task, therefore, as you develop and pursue plans without anyone else really understanding the nature of what you are trying to achieve.
Later, the reports of both scores talk about “mental muscles” meaning… that I was once more intuitive, thinking, and judging…? and now I’m more sensitive, feeling, and perceive things better? What? How does that even happen?
Seriously, I would really like to sit down with a Jungian psychologist for an hour and hash this out. I don’t feel like I’ve changed that much… but maybe it’s true because I’m feeling it and not thinking it? ha ha ha haaaaaa
Ask an abortion provider
by V.E. on March 3rd, 2011
filed under beauty, favorite, health
This. Wherein an abortion provider (an actual, real-life one!) answers the questions:
Why?
What’s it like?
What about the patients? Like, who are they? and
What’s the craziest thing you’ve encountered?
And this:
I speak of my abortion as a positive experience… to save a seat for the possibility that this doesn’t have to be the worst thing that ever happened to you in your whole life… If you think that’s a bullshit line… think of why you’re a person who doesn’t want someone to do the best that they can under the circumstances they’re in.
(h/t Feministe)
The Maria Bamford Show
by V.E. on February 24th, 2011
filed under entertainment, favorite, health
Twenty episodes at roughly five minutes each and The Maria Bamford Show made me laugh, and—at the end—cry (a little). You can watch the full list on Youtube in about an hour, or click the links below for the individual episodes. However you watch it: HIGHLY RECOMMENDED. I’ve included the first episode, “Dropout“, in this post.
01 – Dropout
02 – Maria Gets a Job
03 – Kicked Out
04 – Search for Meaning
05 – Ready for Love
06 – Mother’s Day
07 – Show Time
08 – Crevasse
09 – Bread
10 – Dark, a song
11 – Will
12 – Faith
13 – Oh-CD
14 – Death and Happiness, the Halloween episode
15 – Boredom
16 – Acting Out
17 – Horror
18 – Moving
19 – Replacement
20 – Exit
Body Image PSA
by V.E. on February 18th, 2011
Body Image PSA from Vianca Lugo on Vimeo.
Dear strange woman…
by V.E. on December 21st, 2010
filed under anime/manga, health, work, wtf
Dear strange woman who didn’t want the “drink” I made you because you thought I was sick because I was wearing a convention bracelet that apparently looks like a hospital bracelet,
YOU ARE AN ASSHOLE.
I do not work in a tiny, corner coffee shop. I work at a place that has a behemoth corporation of coffee behind it. They are also assholes. Do you think, if I was actually too sick to be making drinks, that they would allow me to make drinks?
Also, when have you ever seen a hospital bracelet that wasn’t white? I never have. I’m pretty sure hospital bracelets are white or off-white. And, seriously, if I had been in the hospital, don’t you think the bracelet would be the first thing to come off after I got out? Being sick enough to warrant a hospital visit isn’t exactly something to be proud of. (Unless, of course, I’d overcome cancer or something, but in that case, my theoretical sickness wouldn’t be contagious anyway, so…)
Also, stage whispering over the counter to my supervisor that you’d like your “drink” (and yes, I mean to use the quotation marks; see below) remade because you don’t want to get sick from whatever I have is just going to put her between a rock and a hard place. Sure, she’ll stop that more important thing that she’s doing and remake it for you, and she’ll even do it with a smile on her face because she’s a nice person and being nice to assholes like you is part of the job, but as soon as the door swings shut behind you, we are going to laugh at you and lament the waste of good Chai (from the cup that I made for you). You are the reason this behemoth corporation of coffee is considered so uppity and wasteful; not us.
Sincerely,
Someone who’s not going to cut off her convention bracelet just to appease your sorry ass.
PS: The “drink” you ordered… wasn’t one. I don’t know if you know this, but “six pumps of Chai in a venti cup with ice” isn’t a drink. It’s the beginning of one, yes, but not something I’d give you just for funsies. No milk or anything? Seriously?
