“I like to fuck”

… It’s not what you think. This post is actually a rant about sexism in rap.

Here’s the music for “I like to fuck” by Hot Rod, featuring Tila Tequila and Beau Dozier. I’m not writing out the lyrics, but if you don’t want to listen to the music (which are definitely not safe for work), you can read them here.

I’m pretty lax on the whole “sexism in rap” thing. I don’t go looking for bad music to rant about. In fact, I kind of like Eminem‘s rap/hip-hop/music, and I have, more than once, argued that his lyrics (violent, homophobic, and misogynist as they are) are just lyrics. I’ve said, “Well, at least he’s rapping about those things and not actually doing them, right?”

But this song? The chorus is almost pleading, but the verses are… gross. In the chorus, Beau Dozier says, essentially, “It’s not personal, baby. I make love to you, but I only fuck hos.” Meaning: what I do with these other women (the “hos”) isn’t anything to be concerned about; when I have sex with them, it doesn’t mean anything. It only means something when I have sex with you, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to stop having sex with them. Hot Rod, in the verses, talks about how he likes to have sex (“faces down, asses up”), with whom (“if she black, if she white…if it’s loose, if it’s tight”), and what the women he has sex with should (not) do (“I give good dick away and make ’em wanna say ‘Daddy’… You ain’t gotta take your panties off; just move ’em to the side.”). During the bridge, Tila Tequila says, “I like to fuck sexy boys, sexy girls… suck cock ’til I hurl… I get dirty with it; I so filthy.”

Look, people. I like me some sex, just like the next lady, but this is gross. From a purely objective point of view, and putting most of the “eww” factor aside, if this song is really just about fucking, then why doesn’t it have more about fucking guys in there? It’s because Hot Rod is straight, right? Wrong. Tila Tequila, a woman, talks (briefly) about having sex with women, so it’s not the straight/gay thing. In fact, it’s sexism. The men in these lyrics are in control—goading the “girls” to sleep with men and telling them it’s no big deal when men sleep around. “All [the] girlfriends” are simply sex objects; things to have sex with, and that’s all. Beau Dozier even says (in the chorus), “I go put my dick in everything.”

The creators of “I like to fuck” obviously have some deep-seeded fears about and/or hatred of women, and I can’t even pin-point the starting point of all the misogyny because it’s in the whole damn song. They (the creators) are helping prolong the idea that women are important for only one thing (sex) and they’re not worth listening to, looking up to, or being around in any other endeavor. Plus, the images in the song feed the idea that all women should be whores and amazing in the bed (who really likes sucking cock until she hurls?). Women are not around primarily (or secondarily or tertiarily) to please men; it’s just not like that, but this song makes it seem that way (or, at least, that it should be that way). There was only one mention of a female orgasm (Tila Tequila says, “squirt like the wipers on my hot car”), but even that was only in relation to things that arouse men.

I don’t need my roommate’s 16-year-old son (not to mention my roommate himself) calling me a “ho” just because he thinks that’s normal, or looking at me the next time I walk by like he wants to eat me. And all this just because I have breasts and a vagina. Kind of sad, isn’t it? I’m not even really angry. I look at that kind of attitude and behavior and find it completely pathetic. It’s just… sad.

Hat tip to NoLittleLolita.

GTA 4

Grand Theft Auto IV just sickens me. Its completely misogynist and otherwise woman-hating game play turned me off from before I even knew the story arc. (Unfortunately, GTA 4 isn’t the first GTA to have the infamous prostitute-killing feature, which guys still seem to get a kick out of, as well as other sexist and seriously violent options.) Even thinking about the game makes me puke in my mouth a little.

But what I noticed today was my wildly different reactions to my roommate’s son playing the game and my roommate himself playing the game. My roommate’s son turned 16 in April and is a pretty foul-mouthed, “won’t take ‘No’ for an answer” kind of kid. My roommate is a 40s-something sergeant with 12 years on the police force and a decent living to his name. He’s not the brightest bulb in the box* but he’s mostly/somewhat okay when it comes to knowing right from wrong.

* He got his girlfriend of less than 6 months pregnant in February, for example, and now keeps talking about using two condoms at once whenever he has sex in the future, no matter how often I tell him that that would be worse than using one condom the way it’s supposed to be used. [facepalm]

I was annoyed that the son wanted to play and—after he got the game*—was playing the game. I even talked to him about it, but it’s hard talking to a 16 year old who thinks he knows everything. To his credit, he was willing to listen to what I had to say, so that’s something, at least. I was, however, appalled that his father, my roommate, wanted to play. It never occurred to me that he’d want to play, or that he would play if he got the chance, and I’m not sure why that is. Whatever the case, I know why I treated them differently.

* Courtesy his father, of course, who somehow still manages to complain about money even as he buys himself and his kid new electronics every other day.

I treated them differently because I think Eddie (the roommate) should know better. I am, in a way, giving his son the benefit of the doubt because he’s “only 16” while at the same time being harsher on my roommate because he’s freaking old enough to know better. I don’t even want to get into the misogyny that runs through the gaming world and the effect that can have on women gamers (which is a whole entry in and of itself); I’m just so angry at my roommate for giving me yet another reason to dislike him.

An interesting read…

… if you’re interested in the dynamic between older men and younger women and/or between older women and younger men. In the second link below, the author explains why there’s an archive of the former and only one post about the latter.

an archive of posts about older men and younger women
I’m not here to be anyone’s babysitter“: older women and younger men

Anyway, if you have time, read at least the second link, including the comments. I’d be interested to know you’re thoughts as well if you’re so inclined.

Sometimes society makes me want to retreat into my own little world

From one comment about an article from Feministe:

I would be nice if our society valued childrearing enough to help out people who were doing it. If some doctor or pop psychologist or radio talk show host thinks its bad that women aren’t popping out babies young enough, maybe they should work to make it possible for that to happen. Funny, the same people also whine about teen pregnancy.

I agree.

Some notes

You know? I think iVillage is raunchy. But, that’s just me.

On a unrelated note, how is Afghanistan’s government getting away with this? And then, this article about Dem Younginz made me laugh so hard I cried. And then I really cried.

Also, I don’t think Lindsay Lohan was posing for “macabre” photos. I think she was/is brave. [waves little pennant] You go, girl!

Coming up this week: an article/entry about the Yakuza. Look for it!