December 2004

Thursday, 23 December 2004:
Yule has passed. Christmas is the day after tomorrow. New Years is one week after that. I’m looking forward to watching my family open the presents I got for them. Also, I hope my parents let me go to New York City around the 5th (instead of around the 9th, like THEY suggested) because I’m really looking forward to seeing my roommate and boyfriend. I miss them so much! And I’m a little (okay, a bit more than a little) nervous about meeting my boyfriend’s family. I hope they like me. In other news, I had this dream last night in which a really close professor had a baby and then died, a lieutenant who was a friend of a friend drank himself to death and was found in him cabin twelve hours later, and I managed to see three of my four final grades for this last semester (an A, a B+, and a B)… I checked my ACTUAL grades this morning… only two of the four classes have been turned in, but my highest grade so far is a B-. Oh well, so much for my dream, right? It’s not looking too great for my other two classes, either. It’ll be a miracle if I don’t get Ds. So, my New Years resolutions are: go to every class every day, do all my homework on time, and earn a semester GPA of 3.2 or higher. Assuming I do the first two, the third should be within reach. Thankfully, I have a really great boyfriend (don’t let that go to your head) who has promised to help me… and I’ll help him, too, since our resolutions are the same (at least as far as I know). Okay, I think I’m done for today. Oh, and sorry about the really long update last time. Ciao.

Sunday, 19 December 2004:
Okay, so I’m officially home for Yule, Christmas, and New Years Day. I should be leaving for New York City on either the 3rd, 4th, or 5th of January. Must confirm that with my boyfriend, his parents, MY parents, and buy a plane ticket. W00t! I may actually finally get to see Rent on Broadway. In other news, I might get a tattoo from a friend for a holiday present. More on that when it comes up. Now, on with the answering of… stuff. I got most of these topics by googling “what do you think about” and then looking through the first 75 pages of responses. By far the most common completion of the phrase was “it”, “this”, or some variation of “my website”. Naturally, I left those out.

My answers to “What do you think about…?”

Stopping all your meds? That would be a really bad idea.
Christ? He’s cool. Apparently, he came to Earth and died for MY sins. I deny that I am that popular.
Smoking? No. Bad. And it’s not fun to kiss a smoker, either.
Drinking? Not gonna do it. Other people can if they want, but I honestly don’t understand why people need alcohol to loosen up.

Eating genetically modified food? Um, well… I guess that depends on who’s doing the eating. I’m not too keen on it myself, but if you want to, go right ahead.
Abortion? I don’t think I could get one if I was pregnant, but I’m not going to stop anyone else from getting one. I think I’d have to actually be in such a situation to really know what I would do.
Eating disorders? Hmm, not healthy, but treatable, just like any other disorder.
Rape? This one is complicated. I have odd fantasies of submission that involve rape-like situations, so I’m not really sure what I personally think of it. On principle, I believe it is definitely a bad thing.
Makeup? I don’t usually wear it, except for special occasions, and think it should stay that way.

Piercings? Whatever, as long as it doesn’t hinder your speaking ability or something.
Tattoos? I want one. Tactful tattoos can enhance a person’s body image. I don’t go for the “I have a tattoo on every inch of my body” thing, though.
Using the Sun as a source of energy? Um. Duh.
Princess Diana’s death? Tragedy, but I never knew her, so I didn’t cry over it.
Medicinal use of marijuana? Eh, I think in some instances, it should be used, but I can easily see marijuana prescriptions quickly getting out of hand.

The war in Iraq? No. War is wrong. Especially war for oil. You know why we don’t care about people in South America or Africa? Because there is no oil there.
Chinese people? I’ve got Chinese friends. They’re cool. They have saints and jerks in their race just like every other race does.
The proposed National Slavery Memorial Day? Who proposed this? Someone in the Deep South?
Love affairs? Are the parties involved each married to other people? Are they seeing someone else exclusively? If the answers are ‘no’, then fine, whatever.
Fahrenheit 9/11? Haven’t seen it. However, I know I’m more inclined to believe more of it than most Republicans.

Software testing? A good thing. We want the final product to work without the hassle.
Weblogs? I have one, so I guess I’m not that opposed to them. No guarantee I’ll read yours, though.
During sex? Hm, depends. And if I could come up with something, I wouldn’t tell you. Generally, though, if it’s good sex, I’ll be thinking about … sex. If it’s bad sex, I could be thinking a range of things, from home to schoolwork to what I’m going to wear tomorrow.
Amendment 36 to change how Colorado casts its electoral votes? EVERY state should do this.
Euthanasia? Hm… I think I have to look that word up. Mercy killing, eh? Well, if we’re talking about some old person who WANTS to die, and they’re over 60, then fine. It’s their choice, whatever. But for like babies with defects? No, unless it’s taysax disease.

Naming kids after their parents or other relatives? It’s okay, I guess. I’m naming a kid after me. I love my name.
War? Um. Bad. No.
Child labour? Well, child labour used to be the thing because we NEEDED the workers, you know? But in American society, um, it’s sort of like: no. I guess if they WANT to work it’d be fine, they just have to be able to compete with all the grown ups and not have a temper tantrum when they don’t get their way. Oh yea, and not be exploited either.
Athletes using steroids? If everyone used them, then I think it’d be okay, but some (most) athletes are honourable and don’t use them. Go them.
Our future as a technologically endowed telepathic species? Umm… What?

President George W. Bush? Don’t even get me started. Suffice to say, I don’t like the guy.
Child pornography? Again, this seems to be an exploitation problem. I mean, if they WANT to, then who am I to say no? Then again, when is a kid able to decide for themselves what’s best for them? Age 3? 12? 16?
Child prostitution? Now this is more clear cut for me. I mean, who ever truly WANTS to be a prostitute? I don’t think ANY kind of prostitution is all that moral, but honestly, I can’t stop adults from doing it. Kids shouldn’t have to.
Global warming? “People thought that they were just being rewarded.”
Stem-cell research? Sure, if you want to. I don’t see the big problem with it.

Homosexuality and bisexuality? YAY.
Gay marriage? YAY.
Gay adoption? YAY.
Harry Potter? Never read the books, but I saw all the movies so far. Decent, decent.
Y2K? It’s over. Nothing melted down or blew up, so who cares?

Artificial heart transplants? If it helps people live, then go for it.
Foamy the Squirrel? No. Foamy is not all THAT amusing, people, honestly.
The trend of turning books into movies? Shrug. I don’t care. That way I can get the jist of the story without having to read the book. Saves time for me.
Internet spam? BOO. Internet spam should DIE a horrible, terrible, burning death.
The phrase “survival of the fittest”? First thing that comes to mind is Darwin’s evolution theory, but really it’s more like dog-eat-dog on the stock market type thing today.

Cloning a pet? For $50,000? If I had the money, I would put it to much better use than that. But, yes, it’s an interesting idea.
Space? Like, what kind of space are we talking about here? Personal space, outer space, closet space? I like my personal space, outer space is cool, but oxygen-less, and closet space is AWESOME when I have it, and crucial when I don’t have it but need it.
The proposed curfew for NYC youth? Where I live there already IS a curfew (10 PM for kids under 18), so I have no sympathy.
Public libraries? Good, definitely good.
Public bathrooms? Bad, but when you gotta go, you gotta go.

MP3s? Good. I love them, and since that’s all my computer has on it, that’s pretty much all I listen to. I like mp3s because I can get a song I like without having to buy the whole CD.
Healing gardens? Maybe if I knew what those were, I’d have more of an opinion.
Music? I love music. I think we’d live in a sad, sad world without it.
Sexuality? Discover what yours is, and then be true to it. Trying to define yourself by society’s standards only gets you landed in a mental institution when you’re 35.
Trees? Um… yes, they give me oxygen to breathe, so I like them. And they’re pretty to look at, so that’s a plus.

Radon? Isn’t this a scientific element? Who cares about radon? Not me.
The sunset of the assault weapons ban? Well, I talked about it with some of my friends (on both sides of the argument) and I’ve decided that the assault weapons ban was pretty useless in the first place, so its sun-setting is no big deal to me. Now, if I ever actually get shot with an assault weapon, I guarantee you that my opinion will reverse.
Diamonds? They’re a girl’s best friend, after all.
Eyeglasses? I wear them, and some people think they make me look sophisticated. I think they make me look younger than I actually am, but whatever. Or maybe they make me look older. I don’t really know. Contacts, on the other hand, are lovely in the rain and snow, but are an awful pain to put in and take out.
The notion that God is concerned with our holiness, not our happiness? Quite possible, but certainly not a popular notion in today’s society.

Parasites? Boo. Yucky parasites. I’ve HAD parasites and they’re not fun at all. If you don’t have them, don’t get them. If you DO have them, get rid of them ASAP.
Reality TV shows? OMG, have you seen the new Real Gilligan’s Island thing? Man, that’s really sad. One episode was enough for me.
The NFL’s decision to had out 15-yard penalties for excessive celebrations? That’s a little harsh, don’t you think? I mean, they DID just score a goal or whatever. Give them a little slack.
Collaboration in songwriting? Eh. If you want to, fine. What really makes me mad is people who sing music they haven’t written, and then get paid big bucks because of it, ie: Britney Spears or just name someone and they’ve probably done it once in their life if they don’t STILL do it.
Men who wear earrings? Whatever floats your boat, man. Self expression is fine with me, as long as you don’t try to make me express YOU.

Secondhand clothing? Cheap and so good. They’ve already been broken in and there’s some cool stuff if you look.
Love? Wow, let’s not get into this now. See Stranger in a Strange Land, by Robert Heinlin, for details.
Transracial adoptions? Yes and no. I mean, being adopted by SOMEbody is better than not being adopted at all.
The decision to broadcast Timothy Mcveigh’s execution via closed circuit television to 250 victims of the Oklahoma City bombing? Wow. I mean, he was a bad guy, but that seems a little too much like revenge for my tastes. Then again, I wasn’t in the incident, nor did I know anyone who was, so I’m not really entitled to say.

Gothic chess? What IS this?
Girls who make the first move? Well, I’ve never made the first move unless someone has already specifically expressed interest, so I guess that means never. I can warm up to it if I’m already in a relationship, though.
Vinegar? Um… vinegary?
Teenage dieting? Not a good idea. Your body is still growing and needs all the nutrients that it can get. That does NOT mean eat whatever you want. But don’t starve yourself.
The importance of traditional values? Important, yes. Maybe even crucial. However, traditional values do not equal conservative values. When I say traditional values, I mean things like honour, a sense of justice, bravery, etc.

Baptists? Um, they’re cool, I guess. One of my parents grew up as a Baptist, but I can’t remember which one.
The Electoral College? SHOULD BE DISBANDED.
Parents using physical force to discipline their children? No. Never hit your kids. There is ALWAYS another way to solve the problem.
India’s caste system? Definitely not cool, but it’s their culture. Just because I don’t think it’s right doesn’t mean it doesn’t work.
What happened yesterday? I slept a lot. I went online for a while. I’m at home for winter break. So whatever that means to you, great.

The theory of evolution? Possible.
The Creation theory? Also possible.
Premarital sex? Hmm, on principle, no. In practice? At least be in college. Know what you’re getting yourself into and take responsibility for the consequences your actions have.
Youth skipping grades? Eh. I don’t care, it’s fine with me, but it could make the kid a target of abuse… being bullied and all that good stuff.
The death penalty? No.

Napster? It was cooler when it was free.
St. Valentine’s Day? Sucky if you’re alone, decent to excellent if you’re not. Last Valentine’s Day I was sick with food poisoning, so that wasn’t too fun. My roommate cleaned up my puke and everything. Yuck. I love her.
Japan? It’s where anime comes from, so that automatically makes it cool. Also, they take someone else’s invention and make it ten times smaller, ten times faster, and able to do ten times the number of things than it originally could.
Graphing calculators? I had a TI-82 in junior high and someone stole it from me during my science class. Now, I have a TI-83 Silver, but I don’t know where it is.
Arwen, from LOTR? Let’s see… She was cool, but Eowyn kicked way more ass.

Yourself? Depends on my mood, the angle of the sun, the phase of the moon, the alignment of the planets, where I am, who I’m with, and what I’m doing.

Thursday, 16 December 2004:
TEN Random Things About Me

1. umm, I’m a tad sadomasochistic and I bite. Many people can testify to this fact.
2. I love my Raggedy Anne doll and if you hurt her or take her away from me, I WILL hunt you down and make you regret it.
3. I’m a dog AND cat person.
4. I have more secrets than you know… even if you think you know them, more than likely you actually don’t.

5. I have interesting fetishes.
6. Hmm… looking back on what I’ve written so far, it seems to be more about sex than I anticipated.
7. My favourite colour is violet.
8. I’m in Kappa Beta Gamma sorority, Nu chapter, located in Pennsylvania.
9. I can speak English, Pig Latin, Doubletalk, and German.
10. I have long hair.

NINE Places I’ve Visited

1. Alaska
2. Tijuana, Mexico

3. Los Angeles, baby!
4. San Francisco
5. Times Square in New York City
6. Texas
7. West Hollywood (and you know what THAT means!)
8. Beverly Hills (um, yea, like THAT’s a big accomplishment)
9. Las Vegas

EIGHT Things I Want To Do Before I Die

1. learn to fly, and then fly

2. write a bestselling book
3. happily marry
4. publish a book of good poetry written by yours truly
5. live in New York City
6. live in Los Angeles
7. sing, and sing well
8. learn to speak another language fluently

SEVEN Ways To Win My Heart

1. sing for me

2. write me poetry
3. be trustworthy and trusting
4. tolerate my OCD
5. play hard to get, but only a little
6. give me gifts
7. be honourable

SIX Things I Believe In

1. God
2. that all people are inherently good, or at least start out that way

3. it’s okay to rebel and defy others, but only when you truly believe in your cause, not just because you want to piss someone off
4. being brave is the greatest thing someone can be
5. helping other people when they ask for help is always a good thing to do
6. music, especially vocal music, is a gift from God

FIVE Things I’m Afraid Of

1. being left alone, especially after someone truly knows me
2. the wrath of a patient man or woman
3. losing my family
4. violence towards a person who is weaker than the attacker

5. asphyxiation

FOUR of My Favorite Items In My Bedroom

1. Raggedy Anne
2. my computer
3. my bed (I love you, bed!)
4. my alarm clock… without it, I would never get out of bed

THREE Things I Do Everyday

1. eat some kind of nourishment
2. pray

3. sing

TWO Things I Am Trying NOT To Do Right Now

1. eh… think about my grades this semester
2. think about what I’m going to do about next semester if I act the same way then as I did during this semester

ONE Person I Want To See Right Now

1. [name deleted for privacy]! And [name deleted for privacy], too… but I guess that’s two people. Oh well.

November 2003

November 19, 2003:
Hello hello all. It’s been a while, hasn’t it now? I’ve been in college for a while now… that is, since August 29… I think that’s the right date. Anyway, I’ve gone from sad, scared little freshman to campus savvy college student. In a matter of two and one half months. Not bad, for adjusting to an incredible workload and living with thirty-five other people doing the same thing. It’s made for an interesting time, I must say. So anyway: in one of my classes, Reading and Writing Poetry (my freshman seminar and covers the writing requirement to graduate… if I manage to pass), I was introduced to the idea of editing poetry. That is, writing the poem, putting it a away for a while, then reading it over again and changing some things to make the poem sound better. Now, I know that seems obvious to a lot of people, especially since no one would ever write one draft of anything else and then just leave it like that. It’s not good enough the first time, unless you’re a genius, and there aren’t many of those around, so it’s likely that you know what I’m talking about. Ahem… back on topic. So I discovered the editing of poetry. Now, I know my teacher likes it a lot, and I definitely see the benefit of it, but I think he over emphasises it. I was looking at the poetry I’ve written that’s on this site and noticed it’s certainly not to my potential. That said, I’m in the process (VERY slowly, mind you) of replacing some of the crappy stuff in the Writing section with stuff that’s better and making some of the stuff on there that’s decent excellent. But that’s only for my own writing. And mostly at this point poetry only. SO, in that case, expect some changes in my poetry… yes, I want to change it. Poetry, for those of you against this sort of thing, may be art, but like all other forms of art, it is essentially fluid.

November 11, 2003:
Yes, so many things this edition. First, Samhain came and went and this year I actually planned out and performed a ritual rather than “being spontaneous” like I was last year… which really means I wasn’t organised enough to get anything together before the High Sabbat. Ahem, needless to say, it was a success, so that’s a good thing. Secondly, yesterday was my mother’s birthday. She’s… another year old (yea, you actually thought I was going to tell you, didn’t you?), so if you know her, give her a “Happy Birthday” out in California, will you please?

June 2002

June 30, 2002:

All right, I went to church, like my parents dictated and then came home and now I’m on the computer (duh) and I’m worried that they won’t believe me if I tell them I actually did go, but got home before them… Ach… well, it makes sense in my head. Ok, well they just walked in and believed me, so I can keep using the comp (yay). Ok, so moving on (I noticed I like saying that… did you?)… Here’s some more quizzes just for your enjoyment and so all you stalkers out there can gain that much information (however usless) about famous priceless me. I’m being sarcastic here, for all of you really stupid stalkers.

What Type of Villain are You? /


Take the What Type of Friend are
quiz, and visit

Now are those nearly opposite or what? Sheesh… I knew I was complicated, but COME ON!! I know I know… I probably do have ulterior motives… they’re just so buried I don’t even know what they are. Have a good day. At least a decent one. Oh fine. Just have a day for all I care.

June 28, 2002:

Wow, it’s been more than a week since I last had a random*thought (Not. Just been a week since I’ve had a random*thought and also been at the computer.). I’m thinking about copyrighting the phrase “Random*Thought”… what do you think? Anyways. Moving on, I have more quizzes (duh… since when do I not have more quizzes? Don’t answer that)… Here they are… I took a Gundam Wing quiz and my top results were Duo Maxwell and Heero Yuy (what — you think I’d be anyone else?).. Cool, huh?

You are Duo
Maxwell. You strive on kicking serious ass, anytime, anywhere. However, you
aren’t always out to kill, even though you consider yourself “Shinigami”. You have a kind, warm heart and an open personality, you are always willing to lend a hand to a friend in need and try something new.

You are Heero Yuy. You are
considered the Perfect Soldier and pretty much go through with missions as you
are told or instinct-ly act on. You appear to be stone, but deep down there are
emotions that help drive your actions.

That’s kind of like the black and white parts of me, I guess. Heero and Duo are nearly completely opposites, and on the surface it looks as if Heero just barely tolerates Duo, and Duo does all he can to annoy the crap out of Heero. However, I firmly believe that they have a connection that goes much deeper than that. I know at least they love each other platonically if not romantically as well. Both the anime and the manga allude to more between them than is first seen, or than is at first obvious… Now whether or not you choose to believe that they have romantic connections (as in THEY LOVE EACH OTHER… for all you stupid people), like I do, is your decision. It’s up to you how far you want to read into their relationship. All right… More tomorrow or some other day. Love you all. And I’ll get those GW videos to you… you know who you are. (I hope).

June 18, 2002:

I have one day of school left. Well, actually, it’s one half-day, and technically, I don’t even have to show up for that. I finished my two finals for tomorrow last week and now I won’t have anything to do tomorrow. Yay. For me. Oh yay. Anyways… Summer school starts on Monday. I’m taking Chemistry and Government/Economics so I won’t have to next school year. Instead of those next year, I’ll be taking Deutsch Vier (German 4) and Physics. Joy joy, ne? Have fun with these quizzes I took recently.

Disney Princesses
Which of the Disney Princesses are you?

Yep… so, onwards… I’m still alive. My birthday party is in two days. I’ve lost track of everyone coming to it. I thought I could keep track in my head. Guess what? I was wrong. Moving on.

June 15, 2002:

Okay, so this is how it is. I have three more days of school (half-days, no less), and I got my class ring in the mail today… So I’m excited about that anyway. I found out that earlier this year, the guy I’m totally in love with kissed someone else just days after telling me some pretty deep stuff. I wasn’t surprised, or angry, believe it or not. And no, he’s not a player or anything, I just wasn’t really not expecting that. Ah, well, things do happen that aren’t in my scope of things. I also did something really stupid. Or rather, didn’t do something that could’ve been one of the smartest decisions of my life. I found out that he had disappeared after that because he was guilty for kissing the other girl because he liked me… and I was a dumbass and didn’t ask him out. I’m such a loser. So, I’ve decided that it’s totally my fault that… yea, totally my fault… and the guy’s an angel, too. I’m getting over it (okay, so I’m not really, but I can pretend, can’t I? I’m good at pretending.). Anyways, we had a discussion online about the whole ordeal last night and after we got out of the “I’m sorry, no, I’m sorry” rut, I decided with new resolve not to interfere with him and his girlfriend. They both deserve… well, more than me. As much as it hurts me, I refuse to be a downer to them or to anyone else. And you know something else? He didn’t diss his girlfriend or say anything in the way of degrading her or leaving her or anything of that nature. Which, of course, made me love him more because he loves her and knows he does and isn’t superficial like me and won’t leave her just because some loner girl confesses something idiotic to him and he feels bad for her. Or something. I don’t know if I’m making much sense anymore. I hate myself.

June 8, 2002:

I GOT INTO CHAMBER SINGERS AT MY SCHOOL!!!!!! Doesn’t that totally rock? I think it does, and if I think it does, it does. So there. Yes, in my community, Chamber Singers at the high school is THE elite choral choir. So next year, hehe, check out my singing skills. Oh yea, boo yah! All righty, so I really am happy today, getting into that choir totally made my entire next year. I’m soo psyched.

Which Love Hina Girl Are You?

A woman trapped in a girl’s body (or a girl trapped in a woman’s mind?), you are bursting with inspiration, dreams and abilities! You hold the simple belief that nothing can stand in your way, giving you the courage to move forward and pursue your desires. However, because your view of the world is so simple, you often overlook life’s necessary little details. Don’t get too swept away by your dreams that you forget to look at what’s right in front of you.
Which Love Hina Girl Are You?

Who's your DBZ guy?

Who’s your DBZ guy?

Which Evangelion Child Are You?

Which Evangelion Child Are You?

Yes, it’s my quizzes again… the Anime version, ne? Check these out… hehe I think they’re more funny than anything else. I think the only thing that could ruin my day now is if my house burned down or something big like that. Not even homework can ruin my mood today! (and PS: One of my close friends said I’m pretty when I’m happy!) That’s totally nice to hear for once, don’t you think?

June 2, 2002:
Hey everybody… Last month of school for me until September! Isn’t that a great thing or what? I went and saw my high school’s all-school musical, Anything Goes, of which a few of my friends were a part. Today was the closing night, so I’m sorry all of you who didn’t get a chance to see it. Tough luck. It was really good. The entire cast even did a complete tap number. I was impressed. Anyways, I’ve decided that the guy that broke up with his girlfriend (remember him?) doesn’t like me. I was expecting as much. I refuse to dip as low as to try to woo him away from her, even though I kind of feel like she stole him away from me. But ah well. It wasn’t like she really did — I just had him more to myself before they hooked up, that’s all. I guess I always thought that he’d always be there for me, and he’s not really anymore, now that he has her. Makes me sad. Oh well.

Take the M&M's Test @ Rasberry Rain

What Jelly Belly flavor are you? I’m –

Find your flavor here!

All right, I decided to go a “food” frenzy? Now you know what I’d be if I was either an M&M or a jelly bean? Don’t you feel enlightened?