just Cassie Bennett Alison Victoria
by V.E. on June 14th, 2010
filed under beauty, words, writing
a Wordle based on my memoir manuscript. guess which words are the largest (used most often)? no surprise there, right? (click image for larger.)
2000th post
by V.E. on June 11th, 2010
filed under fyi, personal, recap/review, thoughts, words, wtf
This is my 2000th entry.
I have been writing online since late 2001. I’ve had multiple journals—one I created myself using HTML, a couple of LiveJournals… I have a Facebook page, a Twitter, and a Formspring page. And, I have this: a “real” website with a “real” blog. This website/journal is a compilation of all the other online journals I’ve had; you can find my writing from my original (thankfully retired) website here. You can find all the stuff from my LiveJournal days, and you can find, since earlier this year, a record of my tweets.
This entry comes at a time of bitterness for me for a few reasons. I have no money and no livelihood to speak of. I’m working to rectify that, so all is not lost, but I’m not particularly optimistic. Nevertheless, I have mounting bills that I cannot pay, and that causes discord. I get depressed and lethargic just thinking about the situation. I’m living at home with my parents, which isn’t a bad thing in and of itself, but at my age it isn’t a good thing, either. It feels as though my friends are progressing in life while I’m stuck here, not moving forward… or in any direction at all.
But this week is sad for me because it’s the week (along with next week) my family and I were supposed to hike across the Grand Canyon together. It is, I suppose, another disappointment in a long line of personal disappointments. It’s nobody’s fault, really, but it’s still disappointing. I’d been planning the trip since May 2008, more than two years ago, and it was set to happen—until February. My parents started hiking regularly to work up the endurance for the five-day trip, and my sister and brother were also on board.
I set it up so that we’d be gone for nine days: one travel day on each end, one day to stay at the North Rim before the hike began, two days down the north side, one day the bottom at Phantom Ranch, two days up the south side, and one day to stay at the South Rim and collect ourselves before returning home. I made room and board reservations and excitedly planned it to the last detail. I had maps of the trail(s) we would take, talked about the places we’d stay, and eagerly made arrangements for all of the necessities. Then, we were not granted “back country permit”, something that’s required to actually hike down below the Grand Canyon rim. My father and I hiked the Canyon when I was in sixth grade, and I wanted to share that with my other family members, but it was not to be.
After I was informed that we had not been given a back country permit, I let the subject drop entirely. I didn’t know if there was a way to fight for it, but I was too tired anyway. I didn’t do anything to change or cancel our reservations until it was almost too late, and even then only at the insistence of my parents, whose money was about to be lost. Like I said, it was no one’s fault, at least no one in close relation to me, but I was still utterly beaten.
If we were on the trip now, as was planned, we’d be bedding down for the night at Cottonwood Campground after our first hiking day. We’d probably be sweaty and tired and grumpy from having to walk in a straight line and look at nothing but red rock all day. And I’m missing it terribly.
I don’t know why I keep focusing on all that’s lacking in my life, or all that I perceive to be lacking, for surely I take for granted many things that I shouldn’t or wouldn’t in other circumstances. I’m depressed, I guess, and it’s not really getting better. It’s sad because this post should be a happy one, celebrating all that I’ve accomplished and the chronicling of said. Maybe things will get better in my next 2000 entries.
L.A. Times Festival of Books
by V.E. on April 27th, 2010
filed under recap/review, school, words, writing
On Sunday, I attended an afternoon of the L.A. Times Festival of Books with my mother. We listened to two poets read their work on the Poetry Stage near the inverted fountain on UCLA‘s South Campus and then had a look around at the many booths.
The Poetry Stage was the smallest of the many reading stages at the Festival, but it was just as well because it made for a more intimate atmosphere. The stage itself was set up on the grass to one side of the walkway. It was simple enough: a podium and microphone. Behind the poet was a banner that read “POETRY STAGE”—as if we couldn’t figure that out for ourselves. The audience was seated in plastic folding chairs with a few umbrellas around to shade against the sun. Behind the audience was a small table with information about poetry, including free bookmarks and copies of Poetry Flash. (I picked up a copy on my way to visit other parts of the Festival after I’d heard two poets read.) Across the walkway was the Small World Books booth, which was selling the readers’ works, as well as other books like The History of White People and Pride and Prejudice and Zombies.
The first poet (that I heard) was Cathy Colman (click photo at right for larger). She read a total of eleven poems during her half hour time slot and briefly prefaced most of her poems with some background information about the poem’s subject or form. Her first piece was an acrostic poem called “Acrostic at Dinner”. It was helpful to me that she explained what acrostic meant (“a poem in which the first letter of each line in the text spells out a word or a message”) because I’d have been lost if she hadn’t. Her second piece was an instructional poem called “How To”, which I really liked, about how to write a poem. She said she wrote it for her students who seemed to be perpetually afraid of the blank page. Her seventh poem, titled “Night Swim, 1974″, was based on a party she went to as a young student. Also in attendance at the party were many famous poets, who she mentioned in the poem, though she didn’t name any names, and I’m not familiar enough with many poets to figure out who she was talking about. I wrote down this line: “…his throat pulsing like mud does during rain…” because it included some interesting imagery which I haven’t seen elsewhere. Another poem, “Duplicate Letter” had a preface (correct word?) from Rilke. Colman tended to use a lot of allusion and alliteration in her work, something I mentioned numerous times in my notes. My favorite poem of hers was “Jacobson’s Organ: A Memo”, which was written from the point of view of a snake. (In snakes, the Jacobson’s organ is an olfactory sense in their tongues which helps them smell despite not having noses.) Cathy Colman’s most recent collection is Beauty’s Tattoo, published in late 2009 by Tebot Bach Publications.
The second poet of the afternoon, Annie Finch, had actually missed her flight to Los Angeles and was unable to read. Instead, an actress named Margaret Emery read some of Annie Finch’s poems in her place from two of her books, Eve (forthcoming in June) and Calendars. It was unfortunate that Finch didn’t get to read her own work, but Emery did a decent job in her place (click photo for larger), especially since it seemed like she’d been called in on short notice. Emery read a total of sixteen poems of varying lengths during the allotted half hour. The first poem, “Running in Church” (dedicated “for Marie”), had a lot of internal and end rhyme. The fourth, “Walk With Me”, had a lot of repetition, which had a soothing quality. I was expecting the repetition to be irritating, but it actually helped me get into the flow of the poem better. Another poem, “Letter to Emily Dickinson”, was a good example of apostrophe and included a line which I wrote down: “I take from you as you take me apart”. Finch’s poems had beach or sea imagery (“The Woman on the Beach”) and images of motherhood/childhood (“Being a Constellation”)—and some had both (“The Last Mermother”). “Two Bodies” included the beautiful line: “…they reach through the ceilings of the night…”; the speaker in “Blue Willow” stated, “It’s morning; day rises above me…”
Overall, I would have liked to have the poems in front of me while they were being read aloud so that I could follow along and notice the line breaks and other notations that don’t translate well into speech. My mother, sitting next to me the entire time, would periodically lean over and say either “I got that one” or “I didn’t understand that; could you explain it?” I don’t have a good enough short-term memory to be able to reproduce and explain something so recently introduced (it’s why I write things down in the first place), so I’d have to say, “Maybe we should buy the book” instead of actually being helpful. I like listening to poets read their own work (they know the work best, after all), but it helps to have read the poems for myself ahead of time.
Thanks to my mother for the photos.
On Comments and Commenting
by V.E. on February 18th, 2010
filed under anime/manga, thoughts, words
Today I received a general question via Twitter:
blackbluesock Hey, fellow anibloggers, I need to ask some advice.
— this quote was brought to you by quoteurl
And I decided that Twitter just isn’t the right medium for answering such an inquiry, so I’m writing about it here with the intention of linking this post to my Twitter account.
Now, what are the ethics of commenting? What about dealing with crappy comments from other commentators? Well, it depends on your personal philosophy. When leaving comments, it seems like a good idea to think about what you’re saying and making sure it’s on topic as per the blog post. There are a few good posts from other bloggers to help you get an idea of what’s okay and what’s not. There’s even a blog set up especially for ethics issues in blogging, though there’s nothing there that speaks to commenting specifically. (Also, it hasn’t been updated in over two years, so do with that what you will.)
As for dealing with crappy comments on your own blog posts or journal entries, here’s my advice: be proactive about it. That is, before you have to deal with crappy comments, decide on a plan of action should you ever have to cross that bridge. Hopefully you won’t and all your commentators will have read the above paragraph and make civil, intelligent comments, in which case all your planning will be for naught. What’s the likelihood of that, though, honestly? Yeah, I thought so. We all know that the internet is full of idiots and douche bags (one of which I dated in college—no joke) and that sooner or later you’re going to have to deal with comments full of fail that don’t belong on your blog.
What do you do when that happens? Well, have a plan. It’s like deciding not to smoke before you get asked if you want a fag so that you’re more likely to stay fair and stick to your guns without giving in or overreacting one way or the other. Some bloggers don’t allow comments at all, while others don’t moderate or even read their comments. I recommend a nice medium space between those two extremes, but it’s your blog, so ultimately: what you say, goes. That is, you’re the ruler of your tiny kingdom; you can rule as you see fit. Just be aware that if people think you’re being unfair with your comment controls, they’ll stop reading your blog and maybe even recommend against it to friends.
All this is to say: know what you’re going to do in a situation before that situation falls on you. You’ll be able to react more civilly, at the very least.
(In case you’re wondering, the question was retracted almost immediately because blackbluesock is no longer in charge of the blog on which the comments were posted… so the point is moot.)
Found
by V.E. on February 17th, 2010
filed under lost/found, school, words
I found this card in my mom’s office at APU while I was cleaning on Monday. I know it’s not to her since it’s in another language, and I’m curious to find out what it says. I think it’s a ‘thank you’ note or other note of gratitude, though I’m just guessing, really. Can anyone read it and/or at least tell me what language it is? (I’d still like translation help with this, too, if you have time.) Thanks!
Click either picture for larger.
Front:
Inside:
Text (not the handwriting) in English: (on left) “The Lord is my light and my salvation… Psalms 27:1″; (on right) “My peace and joy / surround you this season / and may love light your way / at Christmas and always.”
Postcard from Argentina
by V.E. on February 5th, 2010
I received this postcard a few days ago from Argentina, but I can’t read it. Can anyone help me out and translate for me? Pedro? Click the picture for larger.
(If you want to see the front of the card, click here.)
Points for knowing which King George he is without checking
by V.E. on September 28th, 2009
“Our Sovereign Lord the King chargeth and commandeth all persons, being assembled, immediately to disperse themselves, and peaceably to depart to their habitations, or to their lawful business, upon the pains contained in the act made in the first year of King George, for preventing tumults and riotous assemblies. God Save the King!”
Yes, you just had the Riot Act read to you.
Whatcha gonna do about it? Huh?
In honor of Justin’s 25th birthday, of course.
