Irregular Roundup #9
by V.E. on October 27th, 2009
filed under entertainment, nanowrimo, work, writing
This is gonna be fast and furious because I am tired of all the crap awesomeness in my Firefox tabs.
The LCHS Band/Colorguard website a’la Spring 2000. Haha, check out the old school.
Hahaha this is awesome: TranslationParty. Pretty self-explanatory, and pretty addicting.
A course on sex-trafficking with only one hurdle.
As if I needed more bad news: graduating during the recession has long-lasting negative consequences.
Electron Band Structure in Germanium, My Ass. That is all.
Japanese lessons in English from NHK World, one of Japan’s leading broadcasting stations. Also, how to get a Japanese scholarship, 8 ways to win unlimited Japanese lessons, and Is learning Japanese not popular anymore? Also, the Tokyo Filter.
I want an Underground-Sign. *pout* “20th Avenue” would be awesome, thanks.
Gearing up for NaNo (cough*yeahright*cough) part 1: How to write a novel in 30 days.
Novel-Ts… I think I want the Poe one with the heart on it.. because I’m morbid like that.
Singing horses from the guy behind Owl City. He just found it somewhere, I think, but it’s still cute. Click to make them sing; click again to make them stop.
Project Implicit will let you know how racist you really are (among other things). We’ll see. I may give this subject its own post after I take some of the tests there.
Going abroad for me has always meant Japan, Germany, or Great Britain. Unfortunately, I don’t know enough non-English to really get around, and I’ve heard Australia’s beautiful, so I may put it on my list.
R.A. Heinlein’s This I Believe essay for the radio series of the same name from the ’50s hosted by Edward R. Murrow.
A fellow MA/MFA student from Wilkes wrote this short piece about the small things and I love it.
In ‘N Out’s secret menu and the Bible verses on their containers.
Main page for the National Writers Union.
California motorcycle safety program… for people who want to earn a motorcycle license in Cali. If I move again soon, I’ll have to figure out the requirements for where ever that is.
—Jedem das Seine
The City is a Harsh Mistress
by V.E. on May 31st, 2009
filed under beauty, favorite, personal, work, writing
I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that when I leave here, I will grieve. I love this city and I feel like I’m dying to have to leave it.
I know it will still exist when I leave; I know will be able to return in the future. The city is, if anything, enduring. I can’t imagine a world where it doesn’t exist. The world would surely not be the same without it. This city is—more than any other place I’ve ever lived—human, alive! She lives, breathes. Born each morning, dead each night.
If you have never lived here, there is no way I can accurately explain it. If you *have* lived here, you already know about what I’m speaking. I don’t know if this is true, but I want to believe that if I had no family and no purpose, the city would be my reason. It is my home.
I did not grow up here. I have not lived most of my life here. Hardly. It was barely even on my radar before my serious college boyfriend dropped out and I had to visit him here if I wanted to see him at all. But, in my defense, I moved here *after* he and I broke up. This city has been my rebound, my tumultuous love affair since then. Two years. I’ve lived here two years. And I’m so in love.
And I have to leave. And I’m dying.
My city is nothing if not a harsh mistress. She’s stripped me nearly bare, whipped me until I begged respite, left me broken on the hardwood floor of my apartment time and again. This city has taken my heart, my hope, and my sanity and trampled them neath her feet without a second thought. And yet, I’m in love. She’s boiled me down to the essentials, chipped away everything unnecessary, and left me distilled and pure. I have learned the value of milk and eggs, the cost of a friendship worthwhile. I know now what I am—and what I am worth—better than I ever have.
Even now, sitting in the station waiting for a train, I know love the city. The ebb and flow, the crass style and language, the *people*. I love her bridges, her public transportation, the parks and green spaces, her dark rivers and high islands. There is no other place like it on Earth. So many lives; so much beauty; and I’m here, a part of it. There is no other place I could love with such intensity, surely. No other place.
I never want to go. I want to die here. There is no better place that I have found. Every time I go out, I fall in love all over again. I remember why I moved here. I remember why I want so desperately to stay. I fall in love with my city again, just as I did yesterday and the day before.
And I have to leave.
I want to die here, but it’s not my time. I can’t stay when my mistress asks so much. I would do anything, if only she would let me keep my dignity. But, mine is a city that demands total submission, complete humility, and I am still proud. I cannot give her everything when my loyalties are split. I love my friends, my family; I can’t do something to hurt them; not again. I’ve gone down that road, but the city demands no less, so I must go.
I’m not ready to give everything, even though I desperately want to be.
I’m so, so in love with my city. She’s willing, but I’m not ready. I haven’t quite hit rock bottom, and I’m afraid. I’m leaving because I’m not willing to do anything necessary to stay. But, no matter how I couch it, I’m still dying.
There will never be a youth like this again. I will never have a second chance in this city. I may come back, but it will never be the same. When I leave, I will leave behind my harsh, beautiful mistress forever. If I return, it will be on more equal terms, and I will never again be in her thrall. Not the way I am now.
I want her. I want her rule, her commanding hand, her *life*. I have never been more alive than I have been at the mercy of my unforgiving city.
And when I leave here, I will grieve.
Best Cities 2009
by V.E. on May 27th, 2009
filed under work
This year, it’s all about the jobs. Kiplinger’s Finance Magazine has come out with the 10 best cities to live in, and let me just boil it down for you: the best cities this year are where the jobs are. (Click the link above for more info about each city below.)
The cities are, in order:
01 Huntsville, Alabama
02 Albuquerque, New Mexico
03 Washington D.C.
04 Charlottesville, Virginia
05 Athens, Georgia
06 Olympia, Washington
07 Madison, Wisconsin
08 Austin, Texas
09 Flagstaff, Arizona
10 Raleigh, North Carolina
Now, living in a city where I can find a job is important to me because, well, I don’t have one. That wouldn’t bother me, except without a job, I can’t pay the bills. I’m having to move away from the Best City in the World [TM] back home because I can’t find work. It is, needless to say, extremely frustrating. As Everclear so eloquently put it:
I hate those people who love to tell you
Money is the root of all that kills
They have never been poor
They have never had the joy of a welfare Christmas
Update
by V.E. on March 28th, 2009
filed under personal, work, writing
Yeah, so I haven’t actually posted a real entry on this thing in a while. So this is like a newsfeed, except not.
01
I changed my hairstyle. I didn’t have it cut or anything, but I was talking to my sister (and mother) via iChat video one evening a while back and watched her finish braiding her hair. It was an subconscious thing on her part; she didn’t even realize anyone was watching, since our mother was talking at the time. She was the most beautiful in that moment than I’ve seen anyone in a long time. That sounds stupid when I write about it now, but at that moment, it was awesome. My sister, with her hair almost braided like that, will be stuck in my mind for a long time coming. Shortly after, I started braiding my hair… I think it’s an effort to capture some of her natural perfection in my own life if I can.
02
I gained a new “friend”… Name’s Artie, and I don’t really like him. He’s 24 (born December 23, in case that matters to anyone), barely managed a GED, and he can’t read. He reminds me of Steven A., and not in a good way. I was having internet troubles (I usually “borrow” wifi from a place down the street) and went down to Starbucks on 86th St. to do some real work. He saw me through the window and—even though I was wearing headphones and a frown—knocked on the glass to get my attention. I don’t know why, but I looked up and smiled at him (it’s not like me to be an ass to people unnecessarily, at least not purposefully) and he apparently took that as an invitation. Since then, we’ve watched a few movies together (Drumline and Memento were my choices; a boot-legged copy of Role Model was his), eaten Chinese and/or sushi multiple times, and played various card games. He touches me too much and I have to correct him when he says things like “honey” and “baby” (insert *puke* here) but he’s not really a bad guy, per se. He’s just… really, really irritating. And racist. And homophobic. And I am totally *not* interested. In any way, shape, or form. Oh, and he just doesn’t seem to get that I hate talking on the phone.
03
Galactica ended; I cried.
04
I started playing Urban Dead and NationStates. Both decent games, though their respective paces are a bit slow for my taste. I have one character in Urban Dead, Eve Amedeus (yes, I know no one is surprised by my character name choice), so if you decide to start playing, look me up. ^_^ In NationStates, I have two nations, Helo Cadence and Amedeusburg. The former is the kind of nation I would actually try to rule; the latter is an experiment in how bad a nation can get if I make decisions that are the *opposite* of what I believe. Similarly, I caved and got a Twitter account, so if you’re inclined, you can look me up under “veduncan” or “eveamedeus” and follow me. If I know you, let me know who you are and I’ll follow you, too!
05
I still have no work. I’ve been applying places, but more people are laying off than hiring these days, at least in my area, so I either have to (1) change my approach, (2) change my area of expertise, or (3) change my physical proximity to paying work (that is, I’ll have to move). I don’t know HOW to change my approach, really. I’m doing what I’m supposed to be doing, as far as anyone can tell. Changing my area of expertise is an option, I guess, but that takes money for training. As for moving… I don’t want to. I love New York City desperately, and I don’t want to leave. It’s expensive, but that tends to be my style no matter the topic. Also, I wouldn’t know where to go; if I can’t find work here, in the City that Never Sleeps, where will I? I don’t want any drama; I just want a job.
06
I earned a Master of Arts in creative writing in January and was talked into taking another year of school for a Master of Fine Arts (the terminal degree in my field because for some reason writers don’t deserve doctorates… I don’t really know *why* it’s like that, but it is… don’t even get me started). This semester I have to (1) write the second draft of my manuscript, (2) read 10-12 books and write ten-twelve page book reports on each one, and (3) write a 15-20 page academic paper about some aspect of writing. I have… done very little in fulfilling any of those goals. I have until late May, after which—if nothing changes—I will have truly failed (academically) for the first time in my life. I don’t want that to happen. I still have time, but not a lot of it, and not a lot of patience to do something I don’t want to do… which is pretty much all of #2 and, to a lesser degree, #3.
07
I feel like I’m on the edge of something… great. That is, something vast and possibly magnificent and yet I have no idea what I’m about to stumble into and no way of knowing whether or not I’ll be able to survive it. For, though the darkness of outer space is grand, it is not friendly. It’s… almost there, like I could reach out and touch it, except I don’t know which way to lean before my fingers catch it.
Lent
by V.E. on February 25th, 2009
filed under anime/manga, health, personal, work
One thing I actually observe in the Christian calendar is Lent. I have a thing for guilt trips, I guess, I don’t know. So this year, I’m going to do three things for forty(-six, if you include the Sundays) days before Easter.
1. apply for work every day (until I find something)
2. exercise; run, walk, jumping jacks, push ups, something every day
3. not read or watch or otherwise indulge in yaoi/shonen-ai/BL/slash
T________________T
I guess #3 is really what I’m giving up, but I need to do the other two things, too, so I’m adding them in there to help make a habit of something. Maybe I can update on my progress or something every once in while, right? I mean, it’s only forty(-six) days, right? …Right?
God, I’m such a masochist.
none of this or this or this or this or this or this or this *cry*
Well, this worked before
by V.E. on January 26th, 2009
filed under finances, school, to do, work
Maybe it’ll work again. I need a real to do list because I keep forgetting what I’m supposed to be doing. I know that’s stupid, but still.
apply for work (30/50 completed)
—one in-person interview!
—one phone interview!
file my taxes and update my FAFSA, if necessary
make list of all the books I have here in NY
—bookshelf 1, bedroom
—bookshelf 2, bedroom
—bookshelf 3, living room
—bookshelf 4, living room, part 1
—bookshelf 4, living room, part 2
—floor, bedroom
—input all into Excel
holiday gift thank yous
edit manuscript & send out
update finances
create reading list with due dates
After all this is done, I’m allowing myself to see a movie. Maybe Valkyrie, if it’s still playing. Maybe something else, I don’t know.
Originally posted: 19 January 2009, 3:50 PM ET
Unfortunately
by V.E. on November 21st, 2008
filed under work
Unfortunately, I was laid off Monday before last. My last day of work at the Conservancy was November 11, Veterans Day. I had to tell my mother that I had been laid off on her birthday (Nov.10). I was supposed to call her that day, but I knew if I did that she would be able to hear the hitch in my voice. So I could either not call her (on her birthday, of all days -_-) or call her and tell her the bad news. [sigh] I knew I had to call her, but it still sucked big time. The Conservancy is a non-profit, and the Wall St. fiasco trickled down to me in a “last hired, first fired” sort of situation. At least I wasn’t fired for doing a bad job, I guess, right?
I’m looking for work again. I’ll let you know if I have good news. Please pray for me. Or do whatever it is you do to garner favor with the gods.
