duncan heights

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I just took the Bills IQ test at bills.com… and didn’t do very well at all. I mean, I “passed” the test, per se, but at a 75% (’C') level. It’s not really a test of what you know, it’s more a test of what you do to keep your bills low and your credit score high (assuming you give honest answers). Well, I pay my bills every month, but I have multiple credit cards and at least one is maxed out. I’ve even considered credit counseling but I feel weird telling any one person that much information about myself.

How am I supposed to deal with this kind of thing, anyway? Do I pay down the cards with the highest balances first? Or the ones with the highest interest? Or do I pay off the ones with the lowest balances so that I get fewer card statements every month? I know the first step is to pay at least the minimum on all the statements, but after that… things get difficult. In any case, the Bills IQ test is a decent first look at how to begin getting out of debt and into the black. That is… out of the red, into the black. Black, good; red, bad.

There is at least one thing I do well regarding my finances, though. I balance my checkbook. Each time I get a bill, I whip out the Quicken 2007 for Mac and input all my purchases and payments into it so I know how much in the hole I really am, and how much I can afford to pay off my debt. Thankfully, school loans can be defered for the most part until I’m out of school, when I have more solid ground to stand on (so to speak).

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I just finished reading listening to New Moon (an audiobook courtesy of Audible.com) on Friday evening. It was better than Twilight, which is unfortunate; many people won’t even get to New Moon because of how mediocre Twilight is. But, I have hope for the third one, since the second was better than the first. That’s not to say the second in the saga was flawless. Far from it. But it was better than Twilight, so that’s something.

I think, though, that it was better because it has less of one of the main characters in it—and that’s not really a good sign. Edward, the male lead, is absent from a big chunk of the middle chapters of the book. Bella, the female lead, narrates again and she’s in the whole thing, but Edward, her love interest, leaves early in the novel and doesn’t return until near the end. In his place (sort of) is Jacob Black, a 16 year old Quileute Indian who lives in La Push, the Indian reservation near Forks, Washington, where Bella lives. There are legends about the descendents of the first Quileute Indians—about how they are Protectors of their lands in… interesting ways… like becoming wolves. Enter a new type of “monster” (Bella’s word, not mine): werewolves. Jacob (aka: Jake) has a thing for Bella, but—even after being dumped by Edward—she’s not interested.

She equates her relationship to Jake with that of Juliet and Paris, and her relationship to Edward with that of Juliet and Romeo—except in the play, Romeo doesn’t ditch Juliet and leave her worrying for her sanity (literally) and a gaping hole in her chest (figuratively). In New Moon, Bella starts hearing voices after her break up with Edward. (”Just one voice; yours,” she corrects him later in the novel.) She spends a lot of her time doing stupid, reckless things—including riding a motorcycle and jumping off a cliff—so that she can keep hearing Edward’s voice in her head. She learns through trial and error that she hears him only in dangerous situations (hence the motorcycle and cliff). And, in fact, she really does nearly die after cliff diving; but Jake saves her at the last minute.

The describing adjectives in this novel are better than in the first, and Bella doesn’t spend nearly as much time doting on Edward’s supposed perfection. But, she’s literally heartsick for most of the book and can’t even think Edward’s name, much less say it to anyone else. She talks a lot about a gaping, ragged hole in her chest that was left by Edward’s harsh words and departure, so it’s really one description traded for another. Instead of perfection, she stresses how bad she feels all the time—or that she’s so hurt that she doesn’t feel anything at all. By becoming numb, she thinks, she can survive. Honestly, I nearly stopped listening half way through because I was just so depressed by how depressed Bella was. Maybe that was the point, but I don’t think it’s a good thing if a reader stops reading your novel because he feels bad when reading it!

Oh, and another thing. Meyer (the author) DID THE SAME THING as she did in the first book! She added three new characters AND sent the main characters on a trip (to Italy this time!) in the last 5 chapters! Why? WHY did she do that? The book was going so well; there was character defvelopment and plot and structure and then suddenly… Bella and Alice (Edward’s sister) are on a flight to Italy to stop Edward from killing himself. W.T.F. I see a pattern developing here, and I don’t like it one bit.

Kudos to Jacob Black, though, because he really made the book worth reading for me. I hope he’s in the third installment as well. I’ll keep reading and let you know if Eclipse is worth it.

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I got a haircut.

I know: it’s amazing.

If you know me, you know that cutting my hair is sort of a really big deal for me. That is, it only happens right before or after a big life event. The last time I got it trimmed, it was for my college graduation, and it was less than an inch off the bottom. No even noticed the difference. The time before that, I’d just told my closest friends that I’d been lying to them that whole time (you know who you are) but that I was tired of it and I wasn’t going to do it anymore. I felt like my hair was clinging to the bad vibes and it had to go… so I cut it all off. I know; I’m weird. The time before that, I had it cut and styled for my senior prom. So… aside from this cut today, I’ve had my haircut a total of three times in the past 6 years. Like I said, I’m weird about my hair.

Today, I was celebrating my acquiring a full time job with benefits and paid vacation and everything. (It’s the real deal!) Also, I felt like it was reminding me too much of Bennett… It’s difficult to explain why my hair (of all things) has anything to do with him, especially since I know I’m over him. But I needed a change to make it final in my mind, and this haircut was a good way for me to do that. So, without further ado, here are some pictures.

Before: one | two | three
After: one | two | three | four

And: no, I didn’t do anything to it except cut it. There are no highlights or anything; my hair really is that color.

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Okay, so I just found out today that my boss doesn’t read her emails. (Oh, right. PS: I got a job. I don’t know if I mentioned that on this journal yet, but if you want to know more about where I work, go here.) It’s not that she doesn’t read them, really, but she doesn’t READ them. Does that even make sense? Let me elaborate.

Yesterday she emailed in the morning saying she’d be working from home and to just email her any phone messages and any other issues I might have. The day before that, she’d asked me (via email) to send flowers to a friend using her AmEx card. All right, no problem. I can do that. Actually, no I can’t; I don’t have her card number. So, yesterday morning, I emailed her and mentioned that I didn’t have her card number… so there was no way I could buy flowers for her friend.

I don’t know what else to do besides that, so I just let it go, since she’s not physically in the office to bug and poke. The day’s going by sorta slowly… she comes into the office later in the afternoon and asks me if I’ve sent the flowers yet. I say, “I don’t have your AmEx card number, so I can’t buy the flowers.” And she says, “Oh! Well, duh. Here,” (she hands me the card), “make a copy of this and get flowers sent to [my friend].” All right, that’s great. I make a copy of the card and have flowers sent to her friend with no issues. I don’t even think of the email, since she probably read it and forgot. She is a busy woman and has a lot on her mind, after all.

Then, this morning while we’re talking about other things that I need to do today while she’s out, she says, “See, this is the thing. I need you to tell me if you have a problem with something I ask you to do, and to tell me when you’ve done it so that things don’t slip through the cracks. I didn’t know until I asked yesterday if you’d sent the flowers. You didn’t tell me you needed more from me before that.” (Emphasis mine.) I said, “Oh, okay,” even though I DID tell her. I knew then that she hadn’t read my email.

I have access to her email inbox, so I know when she’s read any emails that have been sent to her, so I know that she’d “read” my email the previous day. But she obviously hadn’t READ it, even though she had read it. Gah. I feel kind of insulted.

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“14 months in the making, 42 countries, and a cast of thousands.
Thanks to everyone who danced with me.”

Where the Hell is Matt? (2008) from Matthew Harding on Vimeo.

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I have to write about this because, if I don’t, I’ll explode and make things worse.

I have been told that Eddie’s girlfriend dislikes me. She seems nice enough to me, though she talks to me less than she once did. I’m okay with that, but apparently it’s a big point of contention between Eddie and her that I “still” live here with him. 

I don’t want to live here anymore. She comes over, but has never told me anything to my face about how she feels about me. Eddie won’t throw me out, so I guess that says something about his character (or his lack of money). He’s never said this, but I feel like I’m exiled to my room when he comes home. He has made perfectly clear that the living room is not a common area, as I assumed it was. We have no written agreement, and what I remember isn’t what he remembers… which, of course, is typical and the reason written agreements exist. >_<

So, in late April or early May, I mentioned I wanted a lease. I didn't think much more about it until he slid an already signed set of papers under my door. It wasn't what I remembered, so I didn't sign it or return it. He asked about it and I said, "That's not what we agreed upon. I'm not signing it because it's not what I agreed to in August" (2007, when I moved in). He was incredulous, and our relationship has essentially gone downhill from there. He's not a bad guy, just one I don't recommend living with. Ever.

His girlfriend is... annoying. But she's not over all the time, so it’s usually tolerable. I don’t like being around her because she doesn’t treat her children well at all. The older one, 7, basically takes care of the younger one, 1 (or just barely 2, I’m not sure), for her mother. It’s really… not good. Plus, the girlfriend is pregnant with Eddie’s son (they think it’s a boy).. and he doesn’t love her (not to mention she doesn’t love him). It’s times like these that I really REALLY wish we all had the Cylons’ collective problem, which is that they cannot procreate unless both parties love one another (ie: Helo and Athena). Or, at least, that’s what they (the Cylons) believe.

Anyway, that’s not the important part of this conversation. The girlfriend is pregnant now, regardless, and Eddie is going to “be responsible” and “pay for the kid” even though he “really regrets” what he did… which is… fuck the woman in the first place. I have a lot of problems with his attitude about the whole thing, but the most irritating/heartbreaking is that he doesn’t even want the kid. I’m sitting here pulling my hair out because he’s supposedly an adult, but he certainly isn’t acting like one. I really really want something to come back and bite him in the ass and I’m sorely tempted to push things in that direction. I… gave into my temptation with Bennett and it didn’t turn out well in the end. I can’t do that in this situation because I live with the guy. I could be kicked out. That’s not a good thing.

I need to move out on my own and be done with this whole thing sooner than later. It’s not fun or even okay anymore. I was thinking about paying off some of my credit cards with the school loan money, but I think I need to move out because this is ridiculous.

I’m not even sure this post makes any sense, but I’m tired of putting up with it. It’s really bad. Enough is enough.

PS: The baseball season is not helping.

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… is a tease. Seriously. Revelations was a couple weeks back (I only got the chance to finish watching it today) and I’m impatiently waiting for the second half of the season to air…

*impatient toe tapping*
*annoyed pacing*

And then I find out that they’re not airing the second part until next year. Yes, I really do mean 2009.

I hate you, SciFi. I hate you for withholding this from Galactica fans, especially me.

*shakes fist at sky*

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So, um… I just finished reading (well, “listening to” is more apt, as it was an audiobook) Twilight. And—I have to say this, though anyone who has already read the book will already know it—there was a lot of sparkling and beauty and perfection. About half way through, I was sort of like, “Come on, Bella, enough with the perfection in Edward’s face/eyes/body/character.” (Bella is the narrator.)

[1] I’m purposefully writing this review before I continue on to New Moon and Eclipse so that I don’t get them mixed up. [2] Also, it’s to pass the time until the fourth one (and, I’m told, final one, if you don’t count Midnight Sun, which is a retelling of Twilight from Edward’s perspective) comes out on August 2. That’s only a month away, but the hype surrounding the first three makes me wonder if I can wait long for its publication once I’ve finished the ones I have. [3] ALSO, I’m pretty sure that, if Twilight had flopped, it would be the only one and its end would’ve been The End, if you know what I mean. So, I want to take it on its own merits and weaknesses.

First, it’s totally “for girls.” That is, it goes on and on about how beautiful/amazing/exquisite Edward is in every possible way. …That is, Bella keeps looking at him and describing his perfection and cold (but perfect) skin and amazing (perfect) knowledge and (perfect) tolerance/patience—and did I mention perfection? She even says this near the end, that Edward can do anything and does everything he tries perfectly. And not in a mocking tone, either, though she’s somewhat irritated by the idea by that time. I was irritated much sooner than she was. Maybe it’s different when you’re sitting in the room with perfection, but I’m just reading about it and I frikin’ know already, thank you.

Second, it’s comparatively tame which—if you’re the mother of a tween—could be a good thing, I guess. I think the book was marketed as a young adult book, but it’s unclear because the cover isn’t all that revealing one way or the other. However, as I am not the mother of a tween, I want the sex! Not sex, if that’s too obvious, but something more for me to go on than Edward retreating every time Bella becomes passionate. And trust me, he does. Every time. It’s such a tease.

Third, the story is old. That’s not in and of itself a bad thing, since there are no new stories in the world, but there’s not enough changed for me to really enjoy the page turns, as it were. I mean, it feels old, and not in a good way. It’s predictable. Girl falls for boy; boy falls for girl. Yay. And, the not-so-new twist is that boy is vampire, so boy wants girl and girl’s blood. And, if that wasn’t enough, girl is chased by other vamps who want her just because boy wants her. That could be really exciting, but I wasn’t surprised by any of the… surprises.

Fourth, Meyers did two things my professors have told me over and over not to do when writing. That is, she added characters (most notably James) and sent the main characters on a trip—within the last 5 chapters. Those two things are a collective sign that the plot is weak. When the characters need a new face to create more tension, something is wrong. Or, if they can’t end the story in roughly the same (physical) place as when they started it, there’s something wrong. The latter doesn’t apply as much to travel stories or to stories in which the precedent is travel, but in this case… Bella arrives in Forks, Washington, right as the novel begins, and the story is in Forks. Technically, it ends there, too, but at the end the whole entourage heads down to Phoenix for a lovely ballet lesson and hospital visit. (I don’t want to completely give things away here, but just know that if you read it, you’ll know to what I’m referring.) I hope it’s not as bad as I’m making it sound, but…

I was disappointed in Twilight. After hearing that it was a great book, “You must read this book!”, and how amazing and clever the writing was, I read it and was… disappointed. I feel like I’m wearily scolding a bad child after I thought he was doing something worthwhile with his time but was instead out in the back smoking homemade cigarettes. It’s sorta pathetic. I mean, it’s not a bad book, per se, but it’s not a really great one, either. I’m reading (listening to, actually, via audiobook) the next one, New Moon, because I have a weakness for vampires, but otherwise… I don’t think I would bother.

PS: Edward sparkles. Literally. He literally sparkles in the sun. As if he wasn’t perfect enough without looking like a walking diamond. [facepalm]

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